Yawcob Strauss and Other Poems/Yawcob's Dribdlations




 * Maybe dot you don'd rememper,
 * Eighdeen — dwendy years ago,
 * How I dold aboudt mine Yawcob —
 * Dot young rashkell, don'd you know,
 * Who got schicken-box und measles;
 * Filled mine bipe mit Limburg scheeze;
 * Cut mine cane up indo dhrum-schticks,
 * Und blay all sooch dricks as dhese.


 * Yell! dhose times dhey vas been ofer,
 * Und dot son off mine, py shings!
 * Now vas taller as hees fader,
 * Und vas oup to all sooch dhings
 * Like shimnastic dricks und pase-pall;
 * Und der oder day he say
 * Dot he boxes mit " adthledics,"
 * Somevheres ofer on Back Bay.


 * Times vas deeferent, now, I dold you,
 * As vhen he vas been a lad;
 * Dhen Katrine she make hees drowsers
 * Vrom der oldt vones off hees dad;
 * Dhey vas cut so full und baggy
 * Dot id dook more as a fool
 * To find oudt eef he vas going,
 * Or vas coming home vrom school.


 * Now, dhere vas no making ofer
 * Off mine clothes to make a suit
 * For dot poy — der times vas exchanged;
 * "Der leg vas on der oder boot;"
 * For vhen hees drowsers dhey gets dhin,
 * Und sort off "schlazy" roundt der knee,
 * Dot Mrs. Strauss she dake der sceessors
 * Und she cuts dhem down for me.


 * Shnst der oder day dot Yawcob
 * Gife me von elecdric shock,
 * Vhen he say he vants fife-hundord
 * To invesht in railroadt schtock.
 * Dhen I dell him id vas beddher
 * Dot he leaf der schtocks alone,
 * Or some feller dot vas schmardter
 * Dake der meat imd leaf der bone.


 * Und vhen I vas got oxcited,
 * Und say he get "echwiped" und fooled,
 * Dheri he say he haf a "pointer"
 * Yrom soom friendts off Sage und Gould;
 * Und dot he vas on " rock bottom;"
 * Had der "inside track" on "Atch"
 * Dot vas too mooch for hees fader,
 * Und I coom oup to der scratch.


 * Dhen in bolitics he dabbles,
 * Und all qvesdions, great und schmall,
 * Make no deeferent to dot Yawcob —
 * For dot poy he knows id all.
 * Und he say dot dhose oldt fogies
 * Must be laid oup on der shelf,
 * Und der governors und mayors
 * Should pe young men — like himself.


 * Yell! I vish I vas dransborted
 * To dhose days off long ago,
 * Vhen dot schafer beat der milk-ban
 * Und schkydoodled droo der schnow.
 * I could schtand der mumbs nnd measles,
 * Und der ruckshuns in der house;
 * Budt mine presendt dribulations
 * Vas too mooch for Meester Strauss.