Yawcob Strauss and Other Poems/Ravenous Bill


 * Oh! a terrible glutton was "Ravenous Bill,"
 * Mate of the good ship "Whippoorwill;"
 * And seldom it was he could get his fill;
 * A fact he oft would mention.


 * And many a time, when eating his beef,
 * Would the captain tell him to "take a reef;"
 * But to such requests he ever was "deaf,"
 * This being a bone of contention.


 * He cheated the sailors out of their prog,
 * Nor left e'en a scrap for the captain's dog:
 * He was such a gourmand and terrible "hog,"
 * That he'd" eat you out of your house."




 * He thought no more of a leg of ham,
 * A peck of potatoes, and shoulder of lamb,
 * With all the "fixin's," — wine, jellies, and jam,-
 * Than a cat would think of a mouse.


 * At length, on distant Southern sands
 * The vessel was stranded; and all the hands
 * Were captured by some of the savage bands
 * Who lived on that foreign coast.




 * Poor Bill was taken among the rest,
 * And became at once a cannibal's guest;
 * (No pleasant position, it must be confessed,
 * To wake up some morning already " dressed"
 * For a native's " fancy roast.")


 * For want of rations Bill had grown thin,-
 * Nothing, in fact, but bones and skin;
 * And his heathen master (as ugly as sin,
 * To find he'd so badly been " taken in")
 * Devised a horrible plan.




 * To wit: a bamboo cage he'd make,
 * And put in Bill, with a monstrous snake
 * Called the anaconda, that could easily " take"
 * Most any "reasonable" man.


 * At last 'twas finished, — the cage was done;
 * The snake was captured, — a monstrous one:
 * The natives assembled to see the " fun,"
 * And "settle their Bill" they said, as a pun,
 * "Referring to the "collation."




 * Our hero was thrust into the cage
 * Where the snake was coiling itself with rage,
 * Eager and waiting its prey to engage,—
 * An engaging occupation.


 * As Bill and the snake met face to face,
 * He was folded at once in its close embrace;
 * And the natives, thinking he'd "ran his race,"
 * Began on his fate to ponder;




 * When — what d'ye suppose first met their eyes
 * As the dust from the scene did slowly rise,
 * They found that Bill, to their great surprise,
 * Had SWALLOWED THE ANACONDA!