Yawcob Strauss and Other Poems/He Didn't Understand


 * "Pray how is your daughter, friend Scroggins?
 * I hear that she had quite a fall
 * While dancing the German, last evening,
 * At Montague's recherche ball.
 * "I'm sorry Miss Laura was injured,
 * And hope that no serious harm
 * Will ensue from the fall; I assure you
 * Wife and I were quite filled with alarm.
 * "Those dresses with trails are a nuisance;
 * They didn't wear them in our day.
 * No wonder that accidents happen
 * With such things to get in one's way.
 * "When we used to dance, my dear Scroggina,
 * There were no such 'pullbacks' as these
 * To mar our delight in the ' mazy,'
 * And trip us, perchance, on our knees.
 * "You could balance, and go down the centre,
 * And dance the Virginia reel,
 * Without walking half up a panier,
 * With the bustle caught on to your heel.
 * "Mrs. Grundy called over this morning,
 * And said, with a smirk and grimace,
 * That Laura, last night at the party,
 * Was horribly banged round the face.
 * "So I thought I'd come over and ask you
 * If she was improving to-day,
 * And if we could be of assistance
 * In any conceivable way.
 * "Mrs. Grundy said—""Zounds, Mr. Jenkins,
 * Just tell Mrs. G. to be hanged!
 * There's nothing the matter with Laura;
 * 'Twas her hair, not her face, that was 'banged.'