Yawcob Strauss and Other Poems/A Zoological Romance

Inspired by an Unusual Flow of Animal Spirits.


 * No sweeter girl ewe ever gnu
 * Than Betty Marten's daughter Sue.
 * With sable hare, small tapir waist,
 * And lips you'd gopher miles to taste;
 * Bright, lambent eyes, like the gazelle,
 * Sheep pertly brought to bear so well;
 * Ape pretty lass, it was avowed,
 * Of whom her marmot to be proud.
 * Deer girl! I loved her as my life,
 * And vowed to heifer for my wife.
 * Alas! a sailor, on the sly,
 * Had cast on her his wether eye—-
 * He said my love for her was bosh,
 * And my affection I musquash.
 * He'd dog her footsteps everywhere,
 * Anteater in the easy-chair.
 * He'd setter round, this sailor chap,
 * And pointer out upon the map
 * The spot where once a cruiser boar
 * Him captive to a foreign shore.
 * The cruel captain tar outdid
 * The yaks and crimes of Robert Kid.
 * He oft would whale Jack with the cat,
 * And say," My buck, doe you like that?
 * "What makes you stag around so, say!
 * The catamounts to something, hey?"
 * Then he would seal it with an oath,
 * And say, "You are a lazy sloth!
 * "I'll starve you down, my sailor fine,
 * Until for beef and porcupine!"
 * And, fairly horse with fiendish laughter,
 * Would say, " Henceforth, mind what giraffe ter!"
 * In short, the many risks he ran
 * Might well a llama braver man.
 * Then he was wrecked and castor shore
 * While feebly clinging to anoa;
 * Hyena cleft among the rocks
 * He crept, sans shoes and minus ox;
 * And when he fain would goat to bed,
 * He had to lion leaves instead.
 * Then Sue would say, with troubled face,
 * "How koodoo live in such a place?"
 * And straightway into tears would melt,
 * And say," How badger must have felt!"
 * While he, the brute, woodchuck her chin,
 * And say, " Aye-aye, my lass!" and grin.

*#*#*#*


 * Excuse these steers. . . . It's over now;
 * There's naught like grief the hart can cow.
 * Jackass'd her to be his, and she—
 * She gave Jackal and jilted ine.
 * And now, alas! the little minks
 * Is bound to him with Hymen's lynx.