Yawcob Strauss and Other Poems/A Tale of a Nose




 * Twas a hard case, that which happened in Lynn.
 * Haven't heard of it, eh ? Well then, to begin,
 * There's a Jew down there whom they call " Old Mose,"
 * Who travels about, and buys old clothes.


 * Now Mose — which the same is short for Moses —
 * Had one of the biggest kind of noses:
 * It had a sort of an instep in it,
 * And he fed it with snuff about once a minute.


 * One day he got in a bit of a row
 * With a German chap who had kissed his frau,
 * And, trying to punch him a la Mace,
 * Had his nose cut off close up to his face.


 * He picked it up from off the ground,
 * And quickly back in its place 'twas bound,
 * Keeping the bandage upon his face
 * Until it had fairly healed in place.


 * Alas for Mose! 'Twas a sad mistake
 * Which he in his haste that day did make;
 * For, to add still more to his bitter cup,
 * He found he had placed it wrong side up.


 * "There's no great loss without some gain;"
 * And Moses says, in a jocular vein,
 * He arranged it so for taking snuff,
 * As he never before could get enough.


 * One thing, by the way, he forgets to add,
 * Which makes the arrangement rather bad:
 * Although he can take his snuff with ease,
 * He has to stand on his head to sneeze!