Wikisource:WikiProject Film/Intertitles from GeoCities/Suds

Suds [American release version:]

1 Oh, this is no tale of gay romance, Of storm-swept shores, adventure-girt Of bold, heroic circumstance, Of daring deeds, of luck, of chance, Of purple pain, of hectic hurt ---

2 No! no! NO! NO!

3 No hero here with passion pants -- This is the tale of a shirt!

4 What ho! Let's go!

5 LONDON.

6 Spring had come to Effingham street --- a spring without the song of birds or the scent of blossoms.

7 And in this street there stood a -

8 Lavender, who still thinks he is a horse ---

9 --- trying to keep up a brave front with a laundry wagon in back.

10 Benjamin Pillsbury Jones, who is back of Lavender in everything he does --

11 "Where is Amanda?"

12 "Amanda! Amanda!"

13 "AMANDA!"

14 "'Ere I be, yer ladyship!"

15 "Blimy, you 'nd Lavender 'ave a 'ell of a time,  don't you, Sudsie?"

16 "When 'Orace Greensmith, hesquire,  calls fer 'is shirt -- -- and me, - - then I laughs last."

17 "Lor! Imagine a swell  takin' 'er away!"

18 "A gent she don't even know,    I'm a thinkin'!"

19 "Garn, shirt-tail wringers!"

20 "Cheer-oh, Lavender, old top! 'Ere's one bloomin' barsket   you won't 'ave to lug!"

21 "On the 'appy day I becomes the blushink bride of 'Orace Greensmith, hesquire,   you delivers yer last       corset-cover!"

22 "Sell 'im to the glue fact'ry!  He ain't no good no more!"

23 "Petit cochonne!"

24 "Enfant de chien!"

25 "Vermine!"

26 "I - never - did!"

27 "Petite imbecile! Wash-  you these clothes if it take all night!"

28 "And down the long and silent street, The dawn, with silver-sandalled feet,   Crept like a frightened girl."

29 In the night's dead stillness, while all London sleeps - -

30 --- slight noises seem like thunder - sounds, and each shadow some hideous monster hides!

31 He had left the shirt eight months and six- teen days ago -- and had never come back for it.

32 Eight months and sixteen days ago -- but it seemed like yesterday to her!

33 And so the spring morning swung into its drab routine ---

34 "Strike me pink! If she ain't washed the bloomin' shirt again!"

35 "She washes it twice a week - - to keep 'is memory clean!"

36 "Please - Oh, please don't!"

37 "'Orace is comin', so   I keeps it ready."

38 "Garn, he ain't never comin' - he's a myth!"

39 "A myth, is 'e? I'll tell you    somethink you don't know -- 'E's Sir 'Orace --- 'e belongs to the nobility --- the same as I does ---"

40 "If yer such a fine lady, wot are yuh doin' 'ere?"

41 "Me father wanted me to grow up without any rank -- or pearls -- or carriages ---"

42 "-- -- so as I should be loved for meself alone!"

43 "It wuz a wintry night -- bitter cold it wuz outside the castle ---"

44 "The arch-dook, me father,  'ad me locked in      the tower."

45 "--- And 'ere you must remain, daughter, till yer love for Sir 'Orace is cold 'nd dead!"

46 "Not that, Father, in  'eaven's nime,      not that!"

47 "Lock and bar them doors!"

48 "Sir 'Orace wuz a 'andsome   figger as he dashed bravely forth outer the night."

49 "Duchess!"

50 "Sir 'Orace, at last!"

51 "Sir 'Orace, me 'ero, me own true knight!"

52 "Nothink shall separate us now, sweet'eart -- nothink!"

53 "The arch-dook's rage wuz  turrible to be'old!"

54 "What ho, poltroon! What do you 'ere?"

55 "I'm 'ere becuz I loves 'er!"

56 "You, Sir 'Orace, like all  the rest, loves 'er for 'er jools 'nd title!"

57 "Nay!...Why, I'd lay down    me life for 'er!"

58 "I'd even give 'er the shirt off me back!"

59 "I with'old me consent!  Leave this 'ouse!"

60 "I refuse!"

61 "It is for the best, darlink - Good-bye!    Good-bye!"

62 "You, too, daughter, must go  out into the world and be loved for yerself alone!"

63 "Gimme them there jools!"

64 "And with the token of 'is   great love wrapped about me slight but shiverink form, I faced the cru-el world -- alone!"

65 "And this 'ere is the very shirt!"

66 Imagination is God's greatest gift .... Even a hungry flea on a toy dog may be happy - - with imagination!

67 "You've got some stupid fool 'ere who sent me this -- But I want to thank you, because my wife saw it and left me this morning!"

68 "Oh, monsieur, I am so very sorry --"

69 "Idiot! You will loose me   all my customer!"

70 "Mon Dieu, donnez-moi la force   pour écraser ce ver!"

[dissolves to:]

"My Lord, give me the strength    to crush this worm!"

71 "HELP! HELP!"

72 The day was too long for poor, tired, old Lavender -

73 "It is the finish - -  I sell 'im for glue!"

74 The glue factory --- the inglorious end of old horses after years of faithful service --

75 "You wouldn't -- if you knew  Lavender like I does!"

76 So they carted Lavender away -- and none so poor to do him reverence!

77 "They 'ave taken Lavender to the glue fact-ry."

78 "Wot for?"

79 "To be kilt! 'E's old and can't work no more."

80 "I'll give yuh money - - all I've got!"

81 Back into the sunshine of life, but not for long - - for when it rains in London - - Blimy, 'Ow it does pour!

82 Bright and early Sunday morning - - Boudoir Secrets of  a Duchess - -

83 Lady Burke-Cavendish - in Effingham street on an errand of mercy --

84 "Do you mean to say you have no place  to take him?"

85 "No, I 'aven't, yer ladyship. 'E spent the night with me."

86 "I say, have you observed the shabby individual      on my right?"

87 "Raw-ther! .... But ignore him, Reggie - - he's in trade."

88 "Don't be so cocky! Life, my young friends, is a long road with many hills  and the journey's end uncertain!"

89 "If you wish, I will send him out to my country place, Sunnyside Downs."

90 Next day was Whitsun Monday -- the great spring holiday --

91 The laundry was to close at noon ---

92 "The compliments of Lady Burke-Cavendish to Miss Amanda Afflick!"

93 "Her ladyship desires your  presence without!"

94 "I have stopped to tell you that your friend Lavender  is well and happy."

95 "-- -- -- and with your permission he will spend the rest of his days there -- -- in clover!"

96 "It was me aunt, the countess,  with a message from me   father, the arch-dook!"

97 "Why didn't yuh get 'er to  tike yuh to 'Ampstead   for the 'oliday?"

98 "Sir 'Orace is a-comin'      for me!"

99 "'Orace!"

100 "Please don't give me away,  Mr. Greensmith! Let me 'old yer 'and a minute!"

101 "Oh, it's like one from     the grave!"

102 "Don't you dare let on you don't know me - - not till the girls go!"

103 "See you at 'Ampstead, Sudsie -- -- you and Sir 'Orace!"

104 "What's all this nonsense?   I don't know you!"

105 "My, but you're 'andsome,  Mr. 'Orace -- -- --"

106 "- - - but I s'pose you knows that!"

107 "Come now, step lively -- -- get me me shirt!"

108 "I washed it twice a week to 'ave it ready for you."

109 "What does all this mean? And what's this about    'Ampstead, eh?"

110 "The girls thinks as 'ow you're goin' to take  me to 'Ampstead ---"

111 "They thinks as 'ow you're   in love with me!"

112 "I'll take you to 'Ampstead!"

113 "On second thoughts, p'raps we'd better go to Epping Forest."

114 "Epping? ... Oh, the girls wouldn't see us there."

115 "That's it, y'see - - we'd miss the crowd -- it'd be much nicer --"

116 It came to her swiftly, poignantly --- that he would be ashamed of her!

117 "I can't go, reely, Mr. Greensmith --"

118 "My folks wouldn't let me --"

119 "Besides, I wuz only jokin'."

120 "Say you ain't angry --"

121 "If - if I only 'ad  somethink to remember you by!"

122 "You're a game little kid!"

123 "Who would love me?"

124 "Who could?"

125 "Nobody never won't!"

126 As Lavender would say, "The roads of life are sometimes bumpy, but you never know what awaits you just around the corner."

127 "How would you like to stay here and serve us?"

128 "'Orace! what are you    doink here?"

129 "Workink. What are you doink 'ere?"

130 "I'm workink 'ere too. 'Ave a dish o' tea?"

131 "O, 'Orace, 'ow you do     carry on!"

THE END

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

[Foreign release version (includes reconstructed titles):]

1 No! no! NO! NO!

2 No hero here with passion pants -- This is the tale of a shirt!

3 What ho! Let's go!

4 LONDON.

5 Spring had come to Effingham street --- a spring without the song of birds or the scent of blossoms.

6 And in this street there stood a -

7 Lavender, who still thinks he is a horse ---

8  - trying to keep up a brave front with a laundry wagon behind him.

9 "Where is Amanda?"

10 "Amanda! Amanda!"

11 "AMANDA!"

12 "'Ere I be, yer ladyship!"

13 "Blimy, you 'nd Lavender 'ave a 'ell of a time,  don't you, Sudsie?"

14 "Wait till 'Orace Greensmith hesquire, calls fer his shirt - and me - you'll soon see who laughs last!"

15 "A bloke what she's never so much as set eyes on!"

16 "Garn, yer old mangle-worms!"

17 "Cheerio, Lavender, old bird.  Any'ow, 'ere's one blinkin' barsket as you    won't 'ave to lug!"

18 "On the 'appy day I becomes the blushink bride of 'Orace Greensmith, hesquire,   you delivers yer last       corset-cover!"

19 "Sell 'im to the glue fact'ry!  He ain't no good no more!"

20 "Petite peste!"

21 "Espéce de idiote!"

22 "Vermine!"

23 "Sich language!"

24 "Petite imbécile!  Wash you zese clothes if it take  you all ze night!"

25 "And down the long and silent street, The dawn, with silver-sandalled feet,   Crept like a frightened girl."

26 In the night's dead stillness, while all London sleeps - -

27 --- slight noises seem like thunder - sounds, and each shadow some hideous monster hides!

28 He had left the shirt eight months and six- teen days ago -- and had never come back for it.

29 Eight months and sixteen days ago -- but it seemed like yesterday to her!

30 And so the spring morning swung into its drab routine -

31 "Strike me pink! If she ain't washed that there  bloomin' shirt again!"

32 "She washes it twice a week - for to keep  'is memory clean-like!"

33 "Please - Oh, please don't!"

34 "'Orace is comin', so   I keeps it ready."

35 "Garn, he ain't never comin' -    he's a fairy-taile!"

36 "Fairy-taile, is 'e? I'll tell you somethink you don't  know - 'E's Sir 'Orace - 'e belongs to the nobility -        same as me!"

37 "If you're such a fine lady, wot are you   a'doin' of 'ere?"

38 "Me father wanted me for to grow up without no rank - nor pearls -    nor carridges!"

39 "- so as I should be loved for myself alone!"

40 "It wuz a wintry night - bitter cold it wuz outside the castle -"

41 "The arch-dook, me father,  'ad me locked in      the tower."

42 "- And 'ere you remain, daughter, says 'e, till yer love for Sir 'Orace   is cold 'nd dead!"

43 "Not that, Father, in  'eaven's nime,      not that!"

44 "Sir 'Orace wuz an   'andsome figger  as he dashed bravely  forth inter the night."

45 "Duchess!"

46 "Sir 'Orace, at last!"

47 "Sir 'Orace, me 'ero, me own true knight!"

48 "Nothink shall separate us now, sweet'eart -- nothink!"

49 "The arch-dook's rage wuz turrible for to be'old!"

50 "Nay!...Why, I'd lay down    me life for 'er!"

51 "I'd even give 'er the shirt off me back!"

52 "I withhold me consent!  Leave this 'ouse!"

53 "You too, daughter, must go out into the cold, grey  world and be loved for     yerself alone!"

54 "Gimme them there jools!"

55 "And with the token of 'is   great love wrapped about me slight but shiverink form, I faced the cru-el world -- alone!"

56 "And this 'ere is the very shirt!"

57 Imagination is God's greatest gift ... Even a hungry flea on a toy dog may be happy - with imagination!

58 "You've got some stupid fool 'ere who sent me this - But I want to thank you, because my wife saw it and left me this morning!"

59 "Oh, monsieur, I am so very sorry -"

60 "Idiote! You lose me all ze customairs!"

61 "Bon Dieu, Si je pouvais écraser cette vermine!"

62 "HELP! HELP!"

63 The day was too long for poor, tired, old Lavender -

64 "It is finish - I sell 'im      for ze glue!"

65 The glue factory - the inglorious end of old horses after years of faithful service -

66 "You wouldn't -- if you    knowed Lavender       like I does!"

67 So they carted Lavender away - and none so poor to do him reverence!

68 "They 'ave taken Lavender to the glue fact-ry."

69 "For what?"

70 "To be killed! 'E's old and can't work no more."

71 "I'll give yer money - every penny I've got!"

72 Back into the sunshine of life, but not for long - for when it rains in London - Lord love a duck, 'ow it does rain!

73 Bright and early Sunday morning - Boudoir Secrets of  a Duchess -

74 Lady Burke-Cavendish - in Effingham street on an errand of mercy --

75 "Do you mean to say you have no place  to take him?"

76 "No, I 'aven't, yer ladyship. 'E spent the night with me."

77 "I say, have you observed the shabby individual      on my right?"

78 "Raw-ther! .... But ignore him, Reggie - - he's in trade."

79 "Don't be so cocky! Life, my young friends, is a long road with many hills  and the journey's end uncertain!"

80 "If you wish, I will send him out to my country place, Sunnyside Downs."

81 Next day was Bank Holiday!

82 Mme. Didier had managed to persuade her laundresses to work till noon - -

83 "The compliments of Lady Burke-Cavendish to Miss Amanda Afflick!"

84 "Her ladyship desires to have a word with you!"

85 "I have stopped to tell you that your friend Lavender  is well and happy."

86 "- and with your permission he will spend the rest   of his days there -       in clover!"

87 "It was me aunt, the Countess,  with a message from me   father, the Arch-dook!"

88 "Why didn't you get her to  tyke you to the 'Eath      for the day?"

89 "Sir 'Orace is a-comin'      for me!"

90 "'Orace!"

91 "Please don't give me away,  Mr. Greensmith! Let me 'old yer 'and a minute!"

92 "Oh, it's like one from     the grave!"

93 "Don't you dare let on you don't know me - - not till the girls go!"

94 "See you at 'Ampstead, Sudsie -- -- you and Sir 'Orace!"

95 "What's all this nonsense?   I don't know you!"

96 "My, but you're 'andsome,  Mr. 'Orace -- -- --"

97 "- - - but I s'pose you knows that!"

98 "Come now, step lively -- -- get me me shirt!"

99 "I washed it twice a week to 'ave it ready for you."

100 "What does all this mean? And what's this about    'Ampstead, eh?"

101 "The girls thinks as 'ow you're goin' to take  me to 'Ampstead ---"

102 "They thinks as 'ow you're   in love with me!"

103 "I'll take you to 'Ampstead!"

104 "On second thoughts, p'raps we'd better go to Epping Forest."

105 "Epping? ... Oh, the girls wouldn't see us there."

106 "That's it, y'see - - we'd miss the crowd -- it'd be much nicer --"

107 It came to her swiftly, poignantly --- that he would be ashamed of her!

108 "I can't go, reely, Mr. Greensmith --"

109 "My folks wouldn't let me --"

110 "Besides, I wuz only jokin'."

111 "Say you ain't angry --"

112 "If - if I only 'ad  somethink to remember you by!"

113 "You're a game little kid!"

114 "Who would love me?"

115 "Who could?"

116 "Nobody never won't!"

117 As Lavender would say: "The hills of life are hard -- but coasting down the   other side is easy."

118 What ho! -- a merry little wasp!

119 "That's gratitude!"

THE END

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