Wikisource:WikiProject Film/Intertitles from GeoCities/Headin' Home

Headin' Home 1 BABE RUTH IN

"HEADIN'   HOME"

2  Presented by KESSEL & BAUMANN

Produced by YANKEE PHOTO CORP'N   __________

Photographed by  OLLIE LEACH

3 Titles by "Bugs" Baer.

4 "BASEBALLIUM DEMENTIA" "A disease of the brain that attacks a baseball fan in his weakest spot.--THE ? ? ?" Darwin.

5 He made the Nation of Leagues forget the League of Nations. ---"BABE" RUTH.

6 The national burial ground for grandmothers.

7 "Eliar Lott, an oldtimer from Babe's birthplace, Haverlock, a little egg and hamlet in the sticks." ---W. J. Gross.

8 "Babe wuz born in Haverlock. It's one of them growing towns what's turned out many a famous man.--MAYBE."

9 "Babe lived with his mother." ---Margaret Sedden.

10 "And his foster-sister, Pigtails, who had a little dog labelled Herman." ---Frances Victory.

11 "Herman wuz a good watch- dog when he wuz awake -- HE SLEPT MOST OF THE TIME."

12 "His maw knew that Babe would be a big man some day if th' pitchers would throw it anywhere near him."

13 "Babe puzzled the squirrels considerable. Used to spend his time in th' woods chopping nature up into baseball bats."

14 "Cyrus Tobin wuz banker an' owned th' town, lock, stock an' barr'l." ---James A. Marcus.

15 "Si owned th' town an' his daughter Mildred owned both." ---Ruth Taylor.

16 "Si's son wuz just back from college. He grad- uated in billiards, trick clothes an' bad debts."

17 "The old man told him to get on to himself      or blow."

18 "Th' boy said he wuz sick of the one-Ford town an' left for New York on th' passenger milk train."

19 "Doc Hedges wuz Republican dog catcher by unanimous vote of Si Tobin." ---George Halpin.

20 "Doc surrounded Pigtail's dog Herman for not havin' a wholesale flea license an' tail lights."

21 "Th' most we thought of Babe wuz that some day he would go to a bigger town where there wuz more loafin' to do."

22 "Pigtail told Babe, an' Babe madder'n a porker- pine with ingrown quills."

23 "The village barber wuz the reason why safety razors wuz so popular in Hav- erlock. He managed th'  ball club." ---Walter Lawrence.

24 "It was a pink-letter day when the new pitcher, HARRY KNIGHT, arrived."

25 "That pink-letter feller thought he wuz th' whole red alphabet. He wuz to be pitcher an' bank clerk for Si." ---William Sheer.

26 "He gave Babe what you fellers call th' Ritz. We call it th' BROAD A as in bawth."

27 "Pigtails, tells Babe to go easy as funerals come high these days."

28 "Deacon Flack was in a sweat to get fifty pounds of ice for the church festival that night."

29 "This feller Knight had more names than Hamburger steak. He wuz as crooked as a dog's hind legs."

30 "An old pal recognized him and wanted to know what a second-story man wuz doin' in a one-story town."

31 "Dave Talmadge wuz church pastor on Sundays an--" ---Charles Burt.

32 "There wuz nothin' bigoted about our new minister. He approved of ice cream an' sarsprilly in moderation."

33 "Babe wuz both heels over his hat in love with Mildred."

34 "The kids used to follow that new pitcher aroun' like cats after a fish wagon."

35 "Babe would rather play base ball than eat an' he had a natcheral talent for both."

36 "That fifty pounds of ice looked like it had been on a hunger strike."

37 "Almira Worters thought Babe wuz the handsomest man in town. Haverlock ain't a big town."

---Ricca Allen.

38 "They say love is blind an' infatuation is cross-eyed. Almira wuz a happy medium 'tween the two - -"

39 "Mildred kinda noticed Babe then. A woman never looks at a man until another woman looks at him first."

40 "Doc Hedges thought he'd have to get a bigger net for Babe."

41 "Th' barber and his wife might have been happy if they both hadn't spoke the same language." ---Anne Brodie.

42 "Babe tried to patch up their quarrel, but as a peacemaker he was a good ball player."

43 "There wuz Fourteen Points that Babe didn't know about peace making."

44 "There wasn't a night that Babe wasn't home. No other place to go in Haverlock."

45 "His maw wanted to know why he wuz stayin' home on th' big festival night of gayety, mirth and soda pop."

46 "At social affairs Babe was like a fish out of water.

47 "The barber feller figured that garlic was made to be smelled an' not seen."

48 "Man for man, that spaghetti wuz stronger'n th' White Sox infield."

49 "But Babe didn't want to see Mildred foolin' around with that Knight feller."

50 "The Volunteer Firemen's Quartette wuz tearin' the moss off the Old Aching Bucket."

51 "Miss Almira knew it was Leap Year an' this wuz her month to jump."

52 "There wasn't nuthin' wrong that Babe couldn't do right."

53 "That Knight feller had wormed his way up to cashier. He wuz crookeder than a hobo's heels."

54 "He stole Tobin's money to bet on Haverlock versus Highland for th' champeen- ship of th' vicinity."

55 "Babe seemed to know that ten cents worth of kindlin' wood would make him famous some day."

56 "Love makes you go through fire an' water. Marriage throws th' water on th' fire---"

57 "Doc Hedges wuz too mean to let Babe wet his feet in th' town lake."

58 "That was one time Babe gave way to his feelings."

59 "Th' uniforms had been fitted personally by mail."

60 "That snipe Knight said he'd quit if clumsy Babe even got a button off a cap."

61 "Then Babe ups and tells him he'd be playing in th' Polo Grounds when Knight wuz sellin' one peanut in two bags."

62 "Never mind, my boy, some day you will be a great player and they will all have to look up to you."

63 "Th' Highland team came to town to beat our boys and make 'em like it."

64 "Th' barber was ready with tonic--either hair or tonsil."

65 "Th' Highland pitcher went to th' barber to get prettied up."

66 "Delilah cut Samson's hair but this barber filled this Samson with old Jumpsteady moon- shine."

67 "Th' parade wuz so good it wuz repeated twice by request."

68 "'N the Highland manager found his pitcher hadn't gone near any well too often."

69 "Knight wuz boastin' he would stand Highland wrong end sideways."

70 "With his pitcher boiled like a New England dinner, the manager offered Babe a job."

71 "Babe didn't want to play against Haverlock, but Pig- tails made him."

72 "Babe couldn't get into that Boy Scout uniform. Fine feathers make birds, but not ballplayers - -"

73 "It was his chance to show he had th' makin's an' could roll 'em."

74 "Th' Fit and Drum Corps blowed itself sour that day."

75 "That Haverlock team wuz a might fine lookin' bunch of misfits."

76 "While the Highlanders wuz all bone and muscle - - mostly BONE."

77 "Nobody paid no more atten- tion to Babe than to a No Smoking sign."

78 "Th' best Babe got from th' home ump wuz th' worst of it."

79 "The ump called Babe out on a couple of dinky curves and a few wild pitches."

80 "The game wuz nip and tuck in the fifth with the umpire still livin'."

81 "Babe wuz doin' good in th' field so long as nuthin' came his way."

82 "Then he threw a shoe goin' after an easy fly - - and the crowd threw a fit."

83 "The young uns gave Babe the merry razzberry."

84 "Bout this time they wuz gettin' ready to launch a new church winder."

85 "In the ninth innin' it was upsticks, 14-14."

86 "Take him out! Give him the air!"

87 "Babe busted that toothpick bat an' called for that old home-made war club - -"

88 "This crook Knight wuz throwin' a ball that looked smaller'n a split oat."

89 "Th' home town crowd wanted to lynch a home town boy for makin' a home run for the wrong town."

90 "Doc Hedges thought that Babe wuz after him. It looked that way, but this time Babe was playing safety first."

91 "Herman too made a home run."

92 "Miss Almira blamed that winder on Babe."

93 "Minister couldn't believe it. Ball park wuz five blocks away."

94 "Almira convinced th' minister that Babe could knock a cobblestone a mile with a darning needle - -"

95 "That old maid prayed for Babe but praying don't get husbands."

96 "The crowd ran Babe ragged but th' minister got up in time to save th' mob."

97 "The generous manager of the visitin' team gave Babe a munificent advance on his salary."

98 "An' th' town that Babe's homers made famous wuz drivin' him out for makin' the first one there."

99 "Th' gal wuz gettin' ready to leave her first town with a crook who'd left a thousand."

100 "Th' gal got remorseful. Changed her mind like a woman' an' stuck to it like a man."

101 "Babe made that crook apologize in six languages an' Esperanto to Mildred - -"

102 "Babe wasn't much on that Hearts an' Flowers stuff. His heart was willin' but his tongue wuz on a strike - -"

103 "Her old man figured she'd trotted off with Babe and wuz sorer than a ringworm."

104 "Babe took the blame off th' gal. He wuz one goat what never let out a bleat."

105 "Babe wuz headin' away from home."

106 "Babe stayed in Hillsdale long enough to get out. He rose to fame like a comet with two tails."

107 "Babe saw young Tobin with a flashy lookin' gal an' knew th' kid wuz bein' took."

108 "'Nother ballplayer tells Babe th' gal is trimmin' young Tobin like a scythe in a hayfield."

109 "So Babe vamps that vamp an' frames her for a dinner."

110 "Back in Haverlock, old Si wuz off'n his feed about that boy John."

111 "That boy would have been as welcome as May flowers in January."

112 "The vamp put up an awful holler when Babe slipped her a deuce spot and blew be- fore the eats were paid for."

113 "Gee, how my mother could make pies."

114 "And how my father could eat!"

115 "And Babe got the glad news to report for his big league soup and fish in three days--"

116 "I'm headin' home."

117 "He'd been away two years when Haverlock started to hear from th' man that put th' town on th' weather reports."

118 "The kid told th' old man that Babe sent him home which made Babe as solid as the rock that made th' Prudential famous."

119 "Th' day that Babe came home will be remembered as long as Haverlock remains a small town. Which will be always."

120 "Babe flashes first fifty dollar plaster ever seen in town."

121 "My boy. My boy."

122 "Babe tells Jim the room is overcrowded and to try the second show."

123 "And we're all here from Haverlock to see Babe knock it out of the lot."

124 "An' danged if that crook Knight wasn't sellin' peanuts an' stealin' the shells."

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