Wikisource:WikiProject Film/Intertitles from GeoCities/A Modern Musketeer

A Modern Musketeer 1 DOUGLAS FAIRBANKS

A   MODERN MUSKETEER

2 Photoplay by Allan Dwan

Based upon D'ARTAGNAN OF KANSAS by  E. P. Lyle, Jr.

3 Directed by Allan Dwan

Photography by   Hugh McClung and Harry Thorpe

4    Released through Artcraft Pictures Corporation.

5  Do you remember D'Artagnan of France? Can you recall the thrills you got from the adventures of that famous swash-buckling gallant of three centuries ago?

6 The advent of a strange lady.

7 "Your handkerchief, Madam."

8 Has D'Artagnan gone forever?-- Maybe not. Perhaps it is his spirit that actuates Ned Thacker of Kansas.

9  A lady in distress was a fly in Ned's ointment--and his ointment was usually full of flies.

10  "Listen son--you've got the wrong idea. Women want equal rights. If you want their love, give them equal lefts too."

11 "Did that big brute hurt mama's little Spikie?"

12  There may be a scientific reason for Ned's chivalry. Let's go back to shortly before his birth.

13 Kansas must have had a hunch he was coming.

14  Mrs. Thacker heeded not the elements. She was praying that the little soul to come might be a boy.

15  "If the house holds together, you may have an heir to- morrow."

16  "You've been reading this sort of thing for six months--what do you expect your child to be like?"

17  "If I am blessed with a son, I pray he may be like D'Artagnan."

18        2 + 2 = 4 Cyclone + D'Artagnan = Speed!!!

19 Mrs. Thacker's wish came true. Ned grew up - like D'Artagnan - always chivalrous - always misunderstood. He finished four years of college in      six months - by request.

20 Once on a street car -

21 "Would you mind giving your seat to a couple of ladies?"

22  The stout party happened to be the Chief of Police and this bit of chivalry cost Ned four days in "stoney lonesome".

23  On another day--in a gentlemen's club, after a fashionable wedding--

24  Elsie Dodge was a sweet, unspoiled Park Avenue flapper.

ELSIE - - - MARJORIE DAY

25  Mrs. Dodge, struggling under a mountain of unpaid bills and shattered hopes, desperately looked upon Elsie as the last chance to fulfill her extravagant ambitions.

MRS. DODGE - KATHLEEN KIRKHAM

26 It was the habit of Forrest Vandeteer to purchase anything he desired - and now he         wanted Elsie.

FORREST VANDETEER - EUGENE ORMONDE

27 "I don't want to see him.  I don't like him."

28  "You must see him. We can't continue this pretense and sham forever."

29 "I want you to join me on a trans-continental auto tour."

30  "It is so generous of you to include us. Elsie will be delighted."

31  Kansas was getting on Ned's nerves--and Ned was getting on Kansas' nerves. It was almost time for them to part.

32  One Sunday--when even the wind had lost its usual "pep".

33 Mrs. Thacker was thrilling Ned with the often read tales of        D'Artagnan.

MRS. THACKER - - EDYTHE CHAPMAN

34 "I can't stand it. - I've got   to get out of Kansas!"

35 "Alright, you Cyclone! - But, get out before you wreck          the house."

36 "You've done this to him-- with that Tommy rot."

37 "I'm glad. He will always be          a boy."

38 "Holy cats! I've got 'em again!"

39  Like D'Artagnan of old--whose father gave him a yellow steed on his departure for adventure--

40 "For soothe, 'tis a nobby steed."

41 So Ned set forth with a yellow "Steed" - the gift of his father.

42 The Vandeteer party encounter an impassable wash-out on         the desert.

43 "It is impossible to proceed,        Monsieur."

44 "Can I be of any service to         you?"

45 "Hardly--with that?"

46  "My good man--would you care to sell a portion of your food?"

47 "Hardly--to you."

48 "I'm hungry."

49 A man from the land of     D'Artagnan!

50  "With such wit, the Yankees will make short work of the Boche."

51  After Fording the desert, they reach the vicinity of El Tovar.

Note:--Please pardon the pun.

52 "Are you married?"

53 "No. Are you?"

54 "Do you speak Mule?"

55 "Hee-haw!"

56 "I beg your pardon madam - would you mind moving?"

57 At El Tovar Hotel - Grand Canyon.

56 "I'll see you at the hotel?"

57 "If you have eyes!"

58 "I thank you."

59 "I thank you."

60 "Well Oscar--how did you  like the poison gas?"

61  "Ah, Monsieur, vous etes l'homme le plus merveilleux que je connaisse et, je ne puis resister le desir de vous embrasser sur les joues!!!!"

62  "Your services are appreciated my good fellow. Of course, this does not give you the privilege of further acquaintance with the ladies."

63 "Do you know who he is?"

64 "He's Forrest Vandeteer, the richest man in Yonkers."

65 "Who's the girl?"

66  "His latest victim I guess. He's got three wives hidden away now."

67  In a tributary canyon, where untold centuries ago a tribe of cliff dwellers had made its home.

68  Chin-de-dah ruled supreme. The place was his by right of heritage and by right of might.

CHIN-DE-DAH - - FRANK CAMPEAU

69 None of his motley, law-hunted court of outcasts dare oppose him.

70 James Brown of New York - fugitive.

JAMES BROWN - TULLY MARSHALL

71 "This place is lonely--I must      get me a woman."

72 "You mean a squaw."

73 "I mean a white woman."

74  "What kind of a white woman would come here with you?"

75 "The one I choose to bring - pretty ones come to El Tovar."

76 "Some white man 'll cut your        heart out."

77 "No man can harm Chin-de-    dah--I am King."

78 The guarded entrance to the canyon where death awaits the intruder.

79 After dinner at El Tovar. The Hopi Dance.

80 "Please remember you are Mr. Vandeteer's guest."

81 "Golly--what a gully!"

82 "It makes me feel so    unimportant."

83 "You're in trouble--what        is it?"

84 "With all this bigness, I guess  my troubles don't matter."

85  "That is right. What was God's purpose to so rend the earth under this majestically fretted dome as to horribly shake our dispositions with thoughts far beyond the reach of our souls?"

86 "You have a nice speaking         voice."

87 "That's the one I want!"

88 "How!"

89 "Scrambled."

90 "If you want a special guide,      I will take you."

91 "Oh, no you won't."

92 Next morning Chin-de-dah is     hired by Barris.

93 "I want to go away from the main road,  where people don't usually go!"

94 "Where are you going?"

95 "Riding! And you?"

96 "Riding!"

97 A recognition.

98 "This is my private party. You can find  the ordinary guide in the stable."

99 "I'm not invited!"

100 "Can I have a word, Madam!"

101 "Will you really allow this monkey to      marry your daughter?"

102 "I beg your pardon!"

103 "Sit down - and let me speak!"

104 Ned's natural boyishness charms Mrs. Dodge - and brings back to her memories of her own sacrificed ideals.

105 "Do you really want your only child to sacrifice everything beautiful in life - just to... Well, you know what I mean!"

106 "You are a nice boy!"

107 "Go after them, and bring her back!"

108 "Who was the man with the young            lady?"

109 "His name is Barris!"

110 "I couldn't want a worse destiny for               him!"

111 "What do you mean?"

112 "Chin-de-dah will probably drop him in         the Colorado river!"

113 "Chin-de-dah will not hurt the girl, he'll  just marry her - Chin-de-dah style."

114 "Don't go after them. Let Chin-de-dah rid the world of Forrest Barris!"

115 "What kind of a man are you? A young   woman in distress! Will you   immediately help me save her!"

116 "You will not reach them before the canyon, and you cannot enter - even with an entire regiment. The only way           is - from above."

117 The look-out.

118 "Chin-de-dah has gone to get a new           woman!"

119 "Do you remember what happened to         the last one?"

120 Close to Chin-de-dah's camp...

121 "Now we'll just take the elevator!"

122 "We are having a party tonight,   I am getting married!"

123 "You're getting married? How amusing!      May I see the bride?"

124 "How dare you be so insolent?"

125 "You buy what you want... me take what I want. And me want her!"

126 "I'll have you arrested for this!"

127 "No-one arrest Chin-de-dah. Me put you in Colorado river. Colorado river don't say anything. Colorado river is        very, very quiet...!"

128 "Where you come from?"

129  "From Kansas, the home of the really great cyclones!"

130 "Take the others out of here, while I       guard this scarecrow!"

131 "You can't hurt Chin-de-dah!"

132 "I don't intend to hurt you, my friend. But this Browning might put a few           holes in you!"

133 "Aren't we cosy lying here!"

134 "Do you recognize me, Forrest Barris?"

135 "Don't you remember National City?       I am James Brown!"

136 "And now is the moment   when you pay up!"

137 "You made the others think I was behind that scam of yours. You took my    wife and kids away from me!"

138 "Write what I tell you!"

139 "Now you're back in business!"

140 "I will get the guard away from the pass      - you wait for the signal!"

141 "I'll take this - as a souvenir!"

142 "I will give you 100,000 Dollars if you         can save my life!"

143 "Write it down, old man - so you don't forget!"

144 "If you try to cheat James Brown, I'll come and turn you into         powdered sugar!"

145 "I'll share the 100,000 Dollars         with you!"

146 Ned learns that chivalry, like virtue, receives its reward.

THE END

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