Uncle Remus: His Songs and His Sayings/The Awful Fate of Mr. Wolf

XIII. The Awful Fate of Mr. Wolf
Uncle Remus was half-soling one of his shoes, and his Miss Sally’s little boy had been handling his awls, his hammers, and his knives to such an extent that the old man was compelled to assume a threatening attitude; but peace reigned again, and the little boy perched himself on a chair, watching Uncle Remus driving in pegs.

“Folks w’at’s allers pesterin’ people, en bodderin’ ’longer dat w’at ain’t der’n, don’t never come ter no good een’. Dar wuz Brer Wolf; stidder mindin’ un his own bizness, he hatter take en go in pardnerships wid Brer Fox, en dey want skacely a minnit in de day dat he want atter Brer Rabbit, en he kep’ on en kep’ on twel fus’ news you knowed he got kotch up wid—en he got kotch up wid monstus bad.”

“Goodness, Uncle Remus! I thought the Wolf let the Rabbit alone, after he tried to fool him about the Fox being dead.”

“Better lemme tell dish yer my way. Bimeby hit’ll be yo’ bed time, en Miss Sally’ll be a hollerin’ atter you, en you’ll be a whimplin’ roun’, en den Mars John’ll fetch up de re’r wid dat ar strop w’at I made fer im.”

The child laughed, and playfully shook his fist in the simple, serious face of the venerable old darkey, but said no more. Uncle Remus waited awhile to be sure there was to be no other demonstration, and then proceeded:

“Brer Rabbit ain’t see no peace w’atsumever. He can’t leave home ’cep’ Brer Wolf ’ud make a raid en tote off some er de fambly. Brer Rabbit b’ilt ’im a straw house, en hit wuz tored down; den he made a house out’n pine-tops, en dat went de same way; den he made ’im a bark house, en dat wuz raided on, en eve’y time he los’ a house he los’ one er his chilluns. Las’ Brer Rabbit got mad, he did, en cusst, en den he went off, he did, en got some kyarpinters, en dey b’ilt ’im a plank house wid rock foundashuns. Atter dat he could have some peace en quietness. He could go out en pass de time er day wid his neighbors, en come back en set by de fier, en smoke his pipe, en read de newspapers same like enny man w’at got a fambly. He made a hole, he did, in de cellar whar de little Rabbits could hide out w’en dar wuz much uv a racket in de neighborhood, en de latch er de front do’ kotch on de inside. Brer Wolf, he see how de lan’ lay, he did, en he lay low. De little Rabbits was mighty skittish, but hit got so dat col’ chills ain’t run up Brer Rabbit’s back no mo’ w’en he heerd Brer Wolf go gallopin’ by.

“Bimeby, one day w’en Brer Rabbit wuz fixin’ fer ter call on Miss Coon, he heerd a monstrus fuss en clatter up de big road, en ’mos’ ’fo’ he could fix his years fer ter lissen, Brer Wolf run in de do’. De little Rabbits dey went inter dere hole in de cellar, dey did, like blowin’ out a cannle. Brer Wolf wuz far’ly kivver’d wid mud, en mighty nigh outer win’.

“‘Oh, do pray save me, Brer Rabbit!’ sez Brer Wolf, sezee. ‘Do please, Brer Rabbit! de dogs is atter me, en dey ’ll t’ar me up. Don’t you year um comin’? Oh, do please save me, Brer Rabbit! Hide me some’rs whar de dogs won’t git me.’

“No quicker sed dan done.

“‘Jump in dat big chist dar, Brer Wolf,’ sez Brer Rabbit, sezee; ‘jump in dar en make yo’se’f at home.’

“In jump Brer Wolf, down come the led, en inter de hasp went de hook, en dar Mr. Wolf wuz. Den Brer Rabbit went ter de lookin’-glass, he did, en wink at hisse’f, en den he draw’d de rockin’-cheer in front er de fier, he did, en tuck a big chaw terbacker.”

“Tobacco, Uncle Remus?” asked the little boy, incredulously.

“Rabbit terbacker, honey. You know dis yer life ev’lastin’ w’at Miss Sally puts ’mong de cloze in de trunk; well, dat’s rabbit terbacker. Den Brer Rabbit sot dar long time, he did, turnin’ his mine over en wukken his thinkin’ masheen. Bimeby he got up, en sorter stir ’roun’. Den Brer Wolf open up:

“‘Is de dogs all gone, Brer Rabbit?’

“‘Seem like I hear one un um smellin’ roun’ de chimbly-cornder des now.’

“Den Brer Rabbit git de kittle en fill it full er water, en put it on de fier.

“‘W’at you doin’ now, Brer Rabbit?’

“‘I’m fixin fer ter make you a nice cup er tea, Brer Wolf.’

“Den Brer Rabbit went ter de cubberd en git de gimlet, en commence for ter bo’ little holes in de chist-lid.

“‘W’at you doin’ now, Brer Rabbit?’

“‘I’m bo’in’ little holes so you kin get bref, Brer Wolf.’

“Den Brer Rabbit went out en git some mo’ wood, en fling it on de fier.

“‘W’at you doin’ now, Brer Rabbit?’

“‘I’m a chunkin’ up de fier so you won’t git col’, Brer Wolf.’

“Den Brer Rabbit went down inter de cellar en fotch out all his chilluns.

“‘W’at you doin’ now, Brer Rabbit?’

“‘I’m a tellin’ my chilluns w’at a nice man you is, Brer Wolf.’

“En de chilluns, dey had ter put der han’s on der moufs fer ter keep fum laffin’. Den Brer Rabbit he got de kittle en commenced fer to po’ de hot water on de chist-lid.

“‘W’at dat I hear, Brer Rabbit?’

“‘You hear de win’ a blowin’, Brer Wolf.’

“Den de water begin fer ter sif’ thoo.

“‘W’at dat I feel, Brer Rabbit?’

“‘You feels de fleas a bitin’, Brer Wolf.’

“‘Dey er bitin’ mighty hard, Brer Rabbit.’

“‘Tu’n over on de udder side, Brer Wolf.’

“‘W’at dat I feel now, Brer Rabbit?’

“‘Still you feels de fleas, Brer Wolf.’

“‘Dey er eatin’ me up, Brer Rabbit,’ en dem wuz de las words er Brer Wolf, kase de scaldin’ water done de bizness.

“Den Brer Rabbit call in his neighbors, he did, en dey hilt a reg’lar juberlee; en ef you go ter Brer Rabbit’s house right now, I dunno but w’at you’ll fine Brer Wolf’s hide hangin’ in de back-po’ch, en all bekaze he wuz so bizzy wid udder fo’kses doin’s.”