Translation:Puss in Boots/Prologue

Prologue The scene is laid in the pit. The candles have been lit; the musicians are gathered in the orchestra. The theatre is full; there is a bedlam of chatter; more members of the audience are arriving; several are pushing, others are complaining. The musicians are tuning their instruments.

__________ are in the pit; and are on the other side of the pit. Fischer Say, but I'm curious, Müller, what is your opinion of these contemporary plays?

Müller I think the sky will fall in before we are likely to see such a play at our great theatre our National Theatre! Indeed! Think of all the periodicals, the sumptuous costumes, and the endless expenses!

Fischer Are you familiar with this piece?

Müller Not at all. A strange title that: Puss in Boots. I do hope they're not going to perform the children's play.

Schlosser Is it perhaps an opera?

Fischer Anything but. The bill says: A Children's Fairy-Tale.

Schlosser A fairy-tale? For Heaven's sake, they must think we are mere children if that's the sort of piece they are going to put on? They surely won't bring an actual cat onto the stage, will they?

Fischer As far as I can make out, it's an imitation of The New Arcadians. The villain of the piece is a monstrous cat, a sort of Tarkaleon, except that his mouth is black rather than red.

Müller Now that wouldn't be bad, for it has long been my desire to see such a wonderful opera without music for once.

Fischer What? Without music! Such a thing would be absurd without music, my dear friend. I assure you, dear Sir, it is only when such absurdities are seasoned with the heavenly art of music that we can swallow them at all. Strictly speaking, of course, we are beyond such childish nonsense, such superstition. The Enlightenment has borne its natural fruits, as is right and proper.

Müller It may turn out to be a traditional portrait of domestic life, and the cat is just a joke, a sort of enticing jest, so to speak; an inducement, if I may call it that; a bizarre title to attract a crowd.

Schlosser To tell you my honest opinion, I take the whole thing to be a trick to spread certain opinions and sentiments among the people. You'll see if I'm not right. A revolutionary play, as far as I can see, with egregious princes and ministers, and then a highly mystical man who joins a secret society in a cellar deep underground, where he goes about disguised as, say, the president, so that the common rabble take him for a tomcat. In any case, we are then given a dose of profound and religious philosophy and Freemasonry. Finally, he is sacrificed for a higher cause. O you noble Puss! Of course you must be in boots if you are to give all the villains a good kick up their unfeeling arses!

Fischer Yes, I think you must be right, for otherwise it would be in very bad taste. At any rate, I must confess I never could believe in witches or ghosts, much less a Puss in Boots.

Müller The age of such phantoms is past.

Schlosser But it depends on the circumstances. Could not a deceased nobleman in a truly desperate plight wander unrecognized as a house-cat throughout his palace, miraculously revealing his identity at the right time? That would be entirely reasonable, if it served higher and mystical ends. But here comes Leutner; perhaps he can tell us more.

pushes his way through the crowd.

Leutner Good evening, good evening! How are you?

Müller Do tell us, will you, what sort of play we're having tonight?

The music begins.

Leutner They're only starting now? It seems I've come in the nick of time. Tonight's play? I have just been speaking with the author; he is onstage now helping the cat to dress.

Many Voices Helping? The author? The cat? So a cat will be appearing onstage, after all?

Leutner Yes, indeed! Why, his name is even on the playbill.

Fischer So who's playing the cat?

Leutner The foreign actor, of course, the great man.

Bötticher Then we are in for a heavenly treat. Oh, how this genius, who experiences all his roles so intimately and portrays them with such subtle nuances, will sculpt for us a cat out of his very being! An ideal cat, as the ancients would understand it, no doubt, not unlike Pygmalion, only here we will have the soccus rather than the cothurnus. But boots are surely buskins and not socks. I am still not sure which of the two we are to have tonight. Pardon me, gentlemen, just a little room for my writing table and remarks.

Müller But how can they possibly put on such nonsense?

Leutner The author thinks that, for a change

Fischer A nice change! Why not do Bluebeard too, and Little Red Riding Hood or Hop-o-My-Thumb? Indeed! Fine subjects for a drama!

Müller But how are they going to dress the cat? Is he actually going to be wearing boots?

Leutner I'm just as eager to find out as you are.

Fischer But do we really want them to perform such stuff for us? We've come here out of curiosity, to be sure, but, still, we have taste.

Müller I have a good mind to kick up a fuss.

Leutner It is rather cold, too. I'll set the ball rolling.

He stamps his feet; the others accompany him.

Wiesener on the other side What are you making such a racket for?

Leutner We're trying to save good taste.

Wiesener Really! Well, count me in too.

He stamps his feet.

Voices Be quiet! We can't hear the music.

Everyone stamps.

Schlosser But, I say, we really ought to let them play the piece right through to the end. After all, we've given them our money and this will be our only chance to see this play. But afterwards we'll kick up such a fuss that they'll hear us out in the street.

All No! Now! Now! Good taste rules  art  otherwise everything will go to rack and ruin.

appears on the stage.

Candle-Snuffer Gentlemen! Must we send in the police?

Leutner We've paid good money to be here, we're the audience, and therefore we demand to have our own good taste and no farces.

Candle-Snuffer But this stamping is rude, and it shows that you have no taste. Here we only allow applause and admiration; respectable theaters like ours here do not grow on trees, you know.

Playwright backstage The play will begin presently.

Müller No play we want no play  we want good taste.

All Good taste! Good taste!

Playwright I am confused; what do you mean, if I may be so bold as to inquire?

Schlosser Good taste! You a poet, and you do not even know what good taste means?

Playwright Be considerate, I'm young, a beginner

Schlosser Don't talk to us about beginners we want to see a proper play  a play in good taste!

Playwright What sort of play? What genre?

Müller Domestic stories.

Leutner Rescue stories.

Fischer Ethics and German sentiments.

Schlosser Religious edification, beneficent secret societies.

Wiesener Hussites and children.

Wiesener's Neighbor Right! And cherries too, and quartermasters!

comes out from behind the curtain

Playwright Gentlemen

All Is that the author?

Fischer He doesn't look much like a writer.

Schlosser Impudent fellow!

Playwright Gentlemen forgive my boldness.

Fischer How can you write such pieces? Why haven't you educated yourself?

Playwright Grant me a hearing before you condemn me – just one minute. I know that the honorable public must pass judgment on the author, and that there can be no leave of appeal; but I also know how much the honorable public loves justice, and I know that they will not frighten me away from a course in which I am in sore need of their guidance and good judgment.

Fischer He's not a bad speaker.

Müller He's more courteous than I expected.

Schlosser He has respect for the public, after all.

Playwright I am ashamed to present the modest inspiration of my Muse before such enlightened judges; it is only the skill of our actors which still consoles me to some extent; otherwise I would sink into despair without further ado.

Fischer I feel sorry for him.

Müller He's a fine fellow!

Playwright When I heard your worthy stamping why, nothing has ever frightened me so much! I'm still pale and shaking. I don't know how I ever mustered up the courage to appear before you.

Leutner Well, clap, then!

Everyone applauds.

Playwright I wanted to try and amuse you by means of humor, cheerfulness and, dare I say it, buffoonery. I hope I have been successful, as our newest plays so seldom afford us an opportunity to laugh.

Müller That's certainly true!

Leutner He's right. That man is absolutely right.

Schlosser Bravo! Bravo!

All Bravo! Bravo!

They applaud.

Playwright It is up to you, honored sirs, to decide now whether my attempt is to be rejected entirely. Trembling, I withdraw. Let the play begin.

He bows very respectfully and disappears behind the curtain.

All Bravo! Bravo!

Voices from the Gallery Da capo!

Everyone laughs. The music begins again, as the curtain rises.

__________