Translation:Puss in Boots/Act 3/Scene 5

ACT THREE

__________ Scene Five Another part of the country. _____

reaping corn.

Kunz This is damned hard work! It wouldn't be so bad if I were doing it for myself, but the corvée! Here we are obliged to sweat for the Bugbear and he does not even thank us. Of course they always say that laws are necessary to keep the people in order, but why our particular Law, who devours us all, should be necessary is quite beyond me.

Enter running.

Hinze Now I have blisters on the soles of my feet! Oh well, who cares? So long as Gottlieb ends up on the throne. Hey, my good friend!

Kunz Who on earth is this chap, then?

Hinze The king will be driving past here presently. If he asks you who all this belongs to, you must reply: the Count of Carabas. Otherwise you will be chopped up into a billion little pieces. The law demands it for the common good.

Fischer What? For the common good?

Schlosser Of course, otherwise this play would never end.

Hinze I presume you hold your life dear!

Exit Hinze.

Kunz That's just what edicts always sound like. Well, I don't mind having to say that, provided no new taxes result from it. One should always be wary of innovation.

The coach pulls up and stops; and get out.

King Another beautiful spot. We have already seen lots of really nice spots. To whom does this land here belong?

Kunz The Count of Carabas.

King Upon my word! The count has splendid estates and so close to mine. My dear, he would be quite a catch for you. What do you think?

Princess You're embarrassing me, father. But what new things one sees while traveling! Pray tell me, kind peasant, why are you cutting that straw?

Kunz laughing Why, this is the harvest, Mistress Queen. Corn.

King Corn? Why, whatever do you need that for?

Kunz laughing To bake our bread, of course.

King For heaven's sake, my dear! Bread is baked out of that! Who could ever have come up with such a trick! Isn't Nature wonderful? Here, my good friend, get yourself a drink, it's hot today.

He gets in again with the Princess; the carriage drives off.

Kunz Not know what corn is! I guess you learn something new every day. If he hadn't given me a shiny piece of gold and if he wasn't a king, you'd almost think he was just a simpleminded fellow. Oh well, I might as well go and get myself a can of good beer now. Not know what corn is!

Exit Kunz.