Translation:Puss in Boots/Act 3/Scene 1

ACT THREE

__________ Scene One

The parlor in the peasant's cottage.

_____ Enter and.

Gottlieb Dear Hinze, it's true you are doing a lot for me, but I still can't see how it is supposed to help me.

Hinze Upon my word, I shall make you happy. I will spare no effort to achieve this aim, no matter what pains I must take, no matter what sacrifices I must make.

Gottlieb My happiness must come soon, very soon, otherwise it will be too late it's already half-past-seven and this comedy ends at eight.

Hinze What the hell do you mean?

Gottlieb Oh, I was just thinking about something else I meant to say: ''Otherwise we're both going to die of thirst. But look at the beautiful sunrise.'' The bloody prompter keeps mumbling; and then if you try to extemporize once in a while, it's sure to fall flat.

Hinze quietly Pull yourself together, man, or this piece will break into a thousand pieces.

Schlosser What did he say about comedy and half-past-seven?

Fischer I don't know; I think we ought to pay closer attention, it should be over soon.

Schlosser Right, concentrate! Thank God we'll be released at eight; if we pay attention, we'll be out of here by eight; but nine? No, no one could hold out till nine; and I'll be a basket case by ten.

Fischer My dear chap, you are beginning to rave just like the characters in the play.

Schlosser I know. Thanks to this play I won't be back to my old self for a long time.

Gottlieb So my fortune will be decided this very day?

Hinze Yes, dear Gottlieb, even before the sun sets. See, I love you so much that I would walk through fire for you and you doubt my sincerity?

Wiesener Did you hear that? He's going to walk through fire. Beautiful! Here we will no doubt have the scene from The Magic Flute with the fire and the water!

Wiesener's Neighbor But cats never go into the water.

Wiesener Why, so much the greater is the cat's love for his master. Don't you see? That's the very point the author is trying to get across.

Hinze Tell me, what would you most like to be in the world?

Gottlieb It's hard to say.

Hinze Perhaps you'd like to be a prince, or a king?

Gottlieb More than anything.

Hinze And do you feel the strength within you to make an entire nation happy?

Gottlieb Why not? Provided I'm happy myself to begin with.

Hinze Well, then, rest assured you shall ascend the throne. I take my oath upon it.

Exit Hinze.

Gottlieb Surely that would take a miracle! But then, of course, so many unexpected things happen in the world.

Exit Gottlieb.

Bötticher Note the untiring refinement with which the cat always holds his cane; so delicately, so courteously.

Fischer You've been a nuisance to us long enough now with your refinements; you are even more boring than the play.

Müller Yes, it's very annoying to have to listen to your analyses and eulogies all the time.

Bötticher But my enthusiasm for art demands expression.

Schlosser Oh, put a sock in it! Here, Leutner, grab a hold of him; and you take his head, Müller; I have a machine here that will keep his mouth shut and prevent him from speaking.

Bötticher But then you will no longer

Schlosser That's it. Now put the gag over his mouth. And you engage the spring, Fischer. That should do the trick.

They gag him.

Bötticher But this is outrageous, I'm a connoiss

Schlosser A connoisseur of art he's trying to say. There, things will be a little quieter over here now. Now we can watch the rest of the play in peace and quiet.