Translation:Puss in Boots/Act 3/Prologue

ACT THREE

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Prologue The parlor in the peasant's cottage.

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Machinist Do you really think then that that will do any good?

Playwright I beg you, my honorable gentleman, I implore you, do not deny my request; you are my only hope; my salvation depends upon you.

Leutner Hey, how come we're back here again? What are these people doing in Gottlieb's parlor?

Schlosser I just don't care anymore.

Machinist But, my dear friend, you really are asking too much of me; you want all of this done in such a hurry, and without any rehearsal.

Playwright Must you too persecute me? You are as bad as my enemies down there: you all rejoice in my misfortune.

Machinist Not in the least.

Playwright prostrating himself before him Then prove it to me by complying with my request; if at any point the audience begins to express its displeasure as loudly as before, then at a signal from me set all the machines going! The finale of Act Two has already deviated quite a bit from my original script.

Machinist Hey, What's this? Who raised the curtain?

Playwright Oh, it never rains but it pours! I am undone!

He rushes in embarrassment behind the scenes.

Machinist I have never known as confusing an evening as this one.

Exit machinist. A pause.

Wiesener Was that part of the play?

Wiesener's Neighbor Of course; that scene will help us make sense of the following changes of scene.

Fischer This evening will certainly go down in the annals.

King behind the scenes No, I'm not going out there again; I absolutely refuse; I couldn't bear to have them laugh at me again.

Playwright But you my dear friend  it can't be changed now.

Hanswurst Well, I'm willing to chance it.

He steps forward and bows comically to the audience.

Müller Hey, what's Hanswurst doing in the peasant's parlor now?

Schlosser No doubt he is going to deliver a ludicrous soliloquy.

Hanswurst Forgive me if I make bold to say a few words which are not actually in the script.

Fischer If I were you I would save my breath. You're annoying enough as a character in the play; now you're just making things worse

Schlosser A mere jester, and he dares to address us!

Hanswurst Why not? It doesn't worry me if people laugh at me; in fact, there is nothing that would please me more than if you should condescend to laugh at me. No, no, please, don't feel embarrassed; we're all friends here.

Leutner That is pretty funny!

Hanswurst Naturally, that which hardly becomes a king is all the more appropriate for a fool; his majesty, therefore, has declined to appear before you, and so it falls to me to make this important announcement.

Müller We're not interested in anything you have to say!

Hanswurst My dear fellow Germans

Schlosser I believe this play is set in Asia?

Hanswurst Maybe, I don't know. But now, you understand, I am merely an actor speaking to the spectators. I am no longer Hanswurst, but rather an individual addressing the audience, an individual who is not a part of the theatrical illusion but is, as it were, outside the illusion: removed, rational, independent, untouched by the absurdity of art. You get the picture? Do you follow? Can you see the difference?

Schlosser Goodbye! I'm off now. This is driving me bonkers. Just as I predicted.

Müller We don't understand you at all.

Schlosser How can you say such a thing to a clown?

Müller But he just said that he's speaking now as an ordinary man.

Hanswurst Please understand (and this is why I am here) that the scene you have just witnessed is not part of the play at all.

Fischer Not part of the play? What was it doing there then?

Hanswurst The curtain was raised too soon. It was a private conversation which would not have taken place on the stage at all if we had more room backstage. So much the worse if you were deceived, but we can't do anything about that now. You must try and eradicate that scene from your minds; because from this point on, you understand, from the moment I leave the stage, the third act will have really begun. Between ourselves, however, the preceding scene had nothing to do with it at all. Think of it as an extra scene thrown in for good measure, but which we would now like to take back. But fear not: you shall be compensated; in fact there is a lot coming up now which is very relevant to the plot, for I have spoken to the playwright himself and he has assured me of it.

Fischer Yes, your playwright is a fine fellow indeed!

Hanswurst He's useless, isn't he?

Müller Absolutely. I'm glad to see, Hanswurst, that you are not completely lacking in discernment.

Hanswurst And I'm really pleased to see that there is someone else who shares my taste

The Pit All of us, all of us! We all feel the same way.

Hanswurst Your obedient servant; you do me too much honor. Yes, God knows, he is a terrible writer just to give you a simple example: look at the miserable part he has written for me! Where, pray, is the wit, the humor? My character appears in so few scenes, and I believe if I had not stepped forward just now, thanks to a fortunate mishap, I might not have appeared again at all.

Playwright rushing onstage Impudent fellow

Hanswurst You see! He is even jealous of the small part I am playing now.

Playwright on the other side of the stage, bowing Honored friends! I would never have dared give this man a more important part, since I know your taste

Hanswurst on the other side Your taste? Now you see how jealous he is and yet you have all just declared that my taste and your taste were both cast in the same mould.

Playwright I only wished, by means of the present play, to prepare you for still more extravagant products of my imagination.

Everyone in the pit Eh? What's he saying?

Playwright For only by degrees can the mind be taught to love the fantastic and the humorous.

Hanswurst The humorous! He talks big, but it's just a load of hot air. But wait a minute, perhaps he has written good rôles, and we just create very different characters out of them onstage.

Playwright In the meantime, I take my leave of you: the play has been held up long enough as it is. And once again I beg your forgiveness for the interruption.

Exit playwright.

Hanswurst Goodbye, my dear friends, until we meet again.

He goes off, but immediately returns.

Hanswurst By the way! One other thing! The discussion which has just taken place among us is, strictly speaking, not part of the play either.

Exit Hanswurst.

Laughter in the pit.

Hanswurst returning immediately Let us finish this wretched piece today; pretend that you do not notice at all how bad it is, and as soon as I get home I'll sit down and write you a play that you will be sure to like.

Exit Hanswurst to much applause.