Translation:Puss in Boots/Act 1/Scene 2

ACT ONE

__________ Scene Two A hall in the royal palace.

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with crown and sceptre. , his daughter. King A thousand handsome princes, my esteemed daughter, have already sued for your hand and laid their kingdoms at your feet, but you have refused them all. Tell us the reason for this, my treasure.

Princess Most gracious father, it has always been my belief that my heart must first evince certain sentiments before I can pass under the yoke of matrimony. For a marriage without love, they say, is truly a hell upon earth.

King That is right, my dear. Yes, yes, what you say is indeed true: a hell on earth! Alas, would that I were not qualified to discuss it! Indeed I should have preferred to remain blissfully ignorant of it! But as it is, my dear, I could a tale unfold, as they say. Your mother, my consort of blessed memory ah, Princess, see, even in my old age the tears rush to my eyes  she was a good queen, she wore the crown with a sublime air of majesty  but she gave me very little peace. Well, may she rest in peace among her royal relatives.

Princess Your majesty excites himself too much.

King When I think back on it now O my child, on my bended knee I implore you  consider carefully before you marry. It is a great truth that linen and a bridegroom should not be bought by candlelight; a sublime truth which every maiden should have inscribed in letters of gold in her chamber. Oh, how I suffered! Not one day passed without a quarrel; I could not sleep in peace; I could not conduct my imperial affairs at my own convenience; I had no time for personal reflection; I could not read the newspaper without being distracted. At dinner, I could never enjoy a fine roast or indulge my appetite; every morsel I swallowed was seasoned with irritation; every course was served with so much squabbling, scolding, sneering, grumbling, griping, grouching, nagging, sulking, biting, grousing, growling and groaning, that more often than not I wished I were amongst the dead rather than amongst the dishes. And yet my spirit occasionally yearns for you, my dear belated Clothilde! My eyes are filling up again oh, what a foolish old man I am!

Princess affectionately O father!

King I tremble whenever I think of all the dangers that face you; for, even if you do fall in love now, my dear, and even if your love and affection are requited ah, just think, my child, wise men have written weighty tomes, often closely printed, warning of the dangers of love; simply falling in love and being loved in return can be enough to make one miserable: the happiest, the most blissful emotion can ruin us; love is, as it were, an ingenious puzzle cup: instead of nectar, it often dispenses poison; next thing you know, your pillow is drenched in tears; all hope, all comfort are gone.

A trumpet sounds.

King It isn't dinner-time yet, is it? No doubt it's just another prince who wants to fall in love with you. Take care, my dear, you are my only child, and you do not realize how dear to my heart your happiness is.

He kisses her and leaves; applause in the pit.

Fischer Now, that scene actually had some common sense in it.

Schlosser I too am moved.

Müller He's a splendid ruler.

Fischer But was it really necessary for him to be wearing a crown?

Schlosser It destroys all the sympathy one feels for him as an affectionate father.

Princess alone I do not understand why none of the princes has yet touched my heart with love. I always keep my father's warnings in mind; he is a great ruler, but he is also a good father, and he is always thinking of my happiness; his subjects love him; he is gifted and wealthy; he is usually as gentle as a lamb, but sometimes he forgets himself and his duties and can suddenly fly into the wildest of rages. Yes, fortune and misfortune, it seems, are always coupled together. The arts and the sciences are my only sources of joy; books constitute all my happiness.


 * , the court scholar.

Princess You are just in time, Master Leander.

Leander I am always at your service, your majesty.

They sit down.

Princess Here is my assignment. I have entitled it Night Thoughts.

Leander reading it Excellent! Ingenious! Ah! I can almost hear the chimes of midnight striking. When did you write this?

Princess Yesterday afternoon, after dinner.

Leander Beautifully conceived! Really, it is beautifully conceived! But, with your gracious permission; The moon shines sadly down on the world  please do not take it amiss, but it should read: in die Welt rather than in der Welt.

Princess Yes, of course. I will take a note of that for the future. You must think me a perfect dunce to find poetry so difficult; I can't write five or six lines without making a mistake.

Leander The idiosyncrasies of our language are to blame.

Princess But aren't the emotions tenderly and delicately phrased!

Leander Indescribably, oh so how shall I put it? so tenderly and lovingly teased out, so finely entwined; all the poplars and weeping willows, and the golden moonlight shining tearfully down on them; and then the purling murmur of the babbling brook it is scarcely comprehensible how a meek feminine mind could conceive such thoughts without first having been scared half to death by the sight of pale ghosts in a churchyard at midnight.

Princess Now I might try my hand at some Greek metres and ancient verse forms; I would like to set aside the vagueness of romantic poetry and have a go instead at more descriptive pieces.

Leander You must continue to make progress; you are climbing higher and higher.

Princess I have also begun a play: The Unhappy Misanthrope; or, Lost Serenity and Innocence Redeemed.

Leander The title itself is fascinating.

Princess And then I feel an incomprehensible urge to write some grisly ghost story. As I said before, if only it weren't for all those grammatical blunders!

Leander Do not worry about such things, incomparable princess! Mistakes are easily corrected.

enters.

Groom The Prince of Malsinki, who has just arrived, wishes to wait upon your royal highness.

Exit groom.

Leander Your obedient servant.

Exit Leander. and enter.

King Here, Sir, is my daughter, a silly young thing, as you see her before you. [To the Princess:] Be polite, my dear, and courteous; he is a distinguished prince from a distant land; his country is not even on my map; I have already looked it up. I have a great deal of respect for him.

Princess It is an honour and a pleasure to make your acquaintance, your highness.

Nathaniel Beautiful Princess, reports of your beauty have spread so widely throughout the world that I have journeyed from a remote corner of the globe to see you face to face.

King Indeed, it is astonishing how many countries and kingdoms there are! You would not believe how many thousands of crown princes have been here already to pay their addresses to my daughter; sometimes they arrive in their dozens, especially when the weather is fine and now you have come all the way from  I beg your pardon, topography is such an extensive subject  whereabouts does your country lie?

Nathaniel Your royal highness, first you set off down the great highway; then you turn right and proceed until you reach a mountain; turn left again, and then proceed to the ocean and sail directly north (if, that is, the wind is favorable); if your journey is successful, you will reach my realm in one and a half years.

King Goodness me! I'll have to get my court scholar to explain all that to me. I suppose you live next to the North Pole or the Zodiac, or something like that!

Nathaniel I wouldn't know.

King Perhaps somewhere near the savages?

Nathaniel I beg your pardon! All my subjects are very tame.

King But you must live in a confoundedly out-of-the-way place. I still can't get my head around it.

Nathaniel The exact geography of my country has still not been determined. I hope to discover more of it day by day. Who knows, we may even turn out to be neighbors after all.

King That would be splendid! And if, in the end, there are still a few countries separating us, I would be happy to help you with your discoveries. My neighbor is not a good friend of mine, so to speak, but he has an excellent country; all our raisins come from there; why, I should be only too glad to have it! And another thing: do tell me how, living so far away, you can speak our language so fluently!

Nathaniel Ssh!

King What?

Nathaniel Hush! Hush!

King I don't understand.

Nathaniel quietly to him Oh do please be quiet about it, or the audience down there will eventually realize that it's very far-fetched.

King It doesn't matter; they aplauded before, so I can afford to throw them a bone.

Nathaniel Don't you see, it's only for the sake of the play that I can speak your language. Otherwise, of course, it would make no sense at all.

King Ah, I see! Yes, of course, we must keep the ladies happy and the play ticking over, even if it means turning a blind eye to some things. Well, come along, Sir, the table is laid!

The Prince escorts the Princess out; the King goes ahead of them.

Fischer This play is full of bloody anomalies!

Schlosser And the king is not staying true to his character.

Leutner Nothing infuriates me more than contradictions and anomalies! Why on earth can the prince not speak some foreign language and have an interpreter with him to translate it into German? And how come the princess doesn't make any grammatical errors when she speaks, since she herself admits that she cannot write five or six lines without blundering?

Müller Yes, indeed! The whole thing is complete rubbish; the author himself keeps forgetting what he has just written.

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