The True Patriot/No. 23.

THE TRUE PATRIOT

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No. 23. TUESDAY, April 8, 1746.

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 * &mdash; Insanus paucis videatur eo quod
 * Maxima pars hominum morbo jactatur come.
 * HOR.

I HAVE heard of a man who believed there was no real existence in the world but himself; and that whatever he saw without him was mere phantom and illusion.

This philosopher, I imagine, hath not had many followers in theory; and yet if we were to derive the principles of mankind from their practice, we should be almost persuaded that somewhat like this madness had possessed not only particular men, but their several orders and professions. For though they do not absolutely deny all existence to other persons and things, yet it is certain they hold them of no consequence, and little worth their consideration, unless they trench somewhat towards their own order or calling.

As an instance of this, let us observe three or four members of any profession met together in a general company, though it be never so large, they make no scruple of engrossing the whole conversation, and turning it to their own profession, without the least consideration of all the other persons present.

Another example of the same temper may be seen in the monopolizing particular words, and confining their meaning to their own purposes, as if the rest of the world had in reality no right to their application. A signal instance of which is in the adjective good. A word which of all others mankind would least wish to be debarred from the use of, or from appropriating to themselves and their friends.

Now, when the divine, the free-thinker, the citizen, the whig, the tory, &c., pronounce such an individual to be a good man, it is plain that they have all so many different meanings; and he may be a very good man in the opinion of one in the company, who would be a very bad one in that of all the others.

I remember to have supped last winter at a surgeon's, where were present some others of the faculty. The gentleman of the house declared he had a very good subject above in the garret. As the gentleman who said this was, I knew, himself as good a subject as any in the kingdom, I could not avoid surprise at his choosing to confine such a person in a cold night, in such a place; but I soon found my mistake, and that this good subject had been hanged the day before for a most heinous felony.

An error of the same kind once happened to me amongst some gentlemen of the army, who all agreed that one Mr. Thunderson was the best man in England. I own I was somewhat staggered when I heard he was a corporal of grenadiers; but how much more was I astonished when I found that he had half a dozen wives, and was the wickedest fellow in the whole regiment.

I cannot quit this head without remarking that much inconvenience may arise from these mistakes; and one indeed happened in the last-mentioned instance; for a grave wealthy widow, of above forty, in the town where the regiment was quartered, having doubtless heard the same character of this man from his officers, and misunderstanding them, as I myself had done before their explanation, fell in love with his goodness, and married him. A third example may be drawn from the attention of the readers of books, or the spectators at plays. I have somewhere heard of a Geographer who received no other pleasure from the Aeneid of Virgil, than by tracing out the Voyage of Aeneas in the map. To which I may add a certain coachmaker, who having sufficient Latin to read the story of Phäeton in the Metamorphosis, shook his head that so fine a genius for making chariots as Ovid had, was thrown away on making poems.

This selfish attention (if I may so call it) in the spectators at our theatres must be evident to all who have ever frequented them. Every joke on a courtier's not paying his debts, is sure to receive a thundering applause from the pit and galleries. This debt is, however, paid by the boxes, on the first facetious allusion to horns, or any other symbol of cuckoldom. Indeed, the whole house are seldom unanimous in their claps, unless when the ridicule is against the ministry, the law, or the clergy; whence, I suppose, that as government, law, and religion are looked upon as the great grievances of the nation, the whole audience think themselves alike interested in their demolition.

I knew a gentleman, who had great delight in observing the humours of the vulgar, and for that purpose used frequently to mount into the upper gallery. Here, as he told me, he once seated himself between two persons, one of whom he soon discovered to be a broken tailor; and the other, a servant in a country family, just arrived in town. The play was Henry the Eighth, with that august representation of the coronation. The former of these, instead of admiring the great magnificence exhibited in that ceremony, observed with a sigh, That he believed very few of those clothes were paid for. And the latter being asked how he liked the play? (being the, first he had ever seen) answered, It was all, very fine; but nothing came up, in his opinion, to the ingenuity of snuffing the candles.

I cannot omit the following story, which I think a very strong example of the temper I have above remarked. I remember to have been present at a certain religious assembly of the people called Methodists, where the preacher named the following text: 'It is reported that fornication is among you.' The whole congregation, as well as myself, expected, I believe, a wholesome dissertation on all criminal converse between the sexes; and some, who laboured under suspicions of that kind, began to express much apprehension and uneasiness in their countenances; but to our great surprise, the sermon was entirely confined to the former part of the text, and we were only instructed in the nature and various kinds of reports. This gave me some curiosity to inquire into the character of so extraordinary a preacher, and I found, to my perfect satisfaction, that he had got his living many years by collecting articles of news for one of the public papers.

If we reflect seriously on this disposition of mankind, so universally exerted in private life, it will lead us to account for the behaviour of men and parties in public; and we shall lose much of that surprise, which might otherwise naturally enough affect us, from observing the rigid adherence which men of no dishonest characters preserve to their own party and their own schemes. Hence it is, that men become more the subjects of our consideration than measures; and hence it hath sometimes happened, that men (and those not the worst of men neither) have been more intent on advancing their own schemes, than on advancing the good of the public, and would have risked the preservation of the latter, rather than have given up the pursuit of the former. I have said it; I have invented it; I have writ upon it; are as substantial arguments with some politicians, as they are with the doctor in Gil Blas, who had writ on the virtues of hot water, and therefore refused to agree with those who prescribe cold. To say the truth, this partiality to ourselves, our own opinions, and our own party, hath introduced many dangerous evils into commonwealths. It is this humour which keeps up the name of Jacobitism in this kingdom; and it is this humour only, from which his present majesty or his administration can derive a single enemy within it. The OPPOSITION (if a handful of men, and those for the most part totally insignificant, as well in fortune as abilities, are worthy that name) would, I believe, be puzzled to give any better reason for their conduct than the aforesaid doctor, or than parson Adams hath done for them, who says, that Opposition is derived from the verb oppono, and that the English of the verb oppono is to oppose.