The Old Bachelor (Congreve)/Prologue by Anne Bracegirdle

How this vile world is changed! In former days Prologues were serious speeches before plays, Grave, solemn things, as graces are to feasts, Where poets begged a blessing from their guests. But now no more like suppliants we come; A play makes war, and prologue is the drum. Armed with keen satire and with pointed wit, We threaten you who do for judges sit, To save our plays, or else we’ll damn your pit. But for your comfort, it falls out to-day, We’ve a young author and his first-born play; So, standing only on his good behaviour, He’s very civil, and entreats your favour. Not but the man has malice, would he show it, But on my conscience he’s a bashful poet; You think that strange—no matter, he’ll outgrow it. Well, I’m his advocate: by me he prays you (I don’t know whether I shall speak to please you), He prays—O bless me! what shall I do now? Hang me if I know what he prays, or how! And ’twas the prettiest prologue as he wrote it! Well, the deuce take me, if I han’t forgot it. O Lord, for heav’n’s sake excuse the play, Because, you know, if it be damned to-day, I shall be hanged for wanting what to say. For my sake then—but I’m in such confusion, I cannot stay to hear your resolution.

[Runs off.]