The Ideal Girl

In the first place, she should be at least six feet tall and weigh about two hundred pounds, so she could take in washing or coal heaving at wharfs, while I took a vacation. As beauty is apt to make a woman vain, she should have a face that resembled a female crocodile with hippopotamus ancestors. As to hair, eyes and so on, I have no especial preference, but if she squinted with one eye and goggled with the other, it would be all right. Also, she should have a strong Swedish accent.