The History of the Adventures of Joseph Andrews and his Friend, Mr. Abraham Abrams/Book II, Chapter VIII

CHAPTER VIII.

_A notable dissertation by Mr Abraham Adams; wherein that gentleman

appears in a political light._

"I do assure you, sir" (says he, taking the gentleman by the hand), "I

am heartily glad to meet with a man of your kidney; for, though I am a

poor parson, I will be bold to say I am an honest man, and would not do

an ill thing to be made a bishop; nay, though it hath not fallen in my

way to offer so noble a sacrifice, I have not been without opportunities

of suffering for the sake of my conscience, I thank Heaven for them; for

I have had relations, though I say it, who made some figure in the

world; particularly a nephew, who was a shopkeeper and an alderman of a

corporation. He was a good lad, and was under my care when a boy; and I

believe would do what I bade him to his dying day. Indeed, it looks like

extreme vanity in me to affect being a man of such consequence as to

have so great an interest in an alderman; but others have thought so

too, as manifestly appeared by the rector, whose curate I formerly was,

sending for me on the approach of an election, and telling me, if I

expected to continue in his cure, that I must bring my nephew to vote

for one Colonel Courtly, a gentleman whom I had never heard tidings of

till that instant. I told the rector I had no power over my nephew's

vote (God forgive me for such prevarication!); that I supposed he would

give it according to his conscience; that I would by no means endeavour

to influence him to give it otherwise. He told me it was in vain to

equivocate; that he knew I had already spoke to him in favour of esquire

Fickle, my neighbour; and, indeed, it was true I had; for it was at a

season when the church was in danger, and when all good men expected

they knew not what would happen to us all. I then answered boldly, if he

thought I had given my promise, he affronted me in proposing any breach

of it. Not to be too prolix; I persevered, and so did my nephew, in the

esquire's interest, who was chose chiefly through his means; and so I

lost my curacy, Well, sir, but do you think the esquire ever mentioned a

word of the church? _Ne verbum quidem, ut ita dicam_: within two years

he got a place, and hath ever since lived in London; where I have been

informed (but God forbid I should believe that,) that he never so much

as goeth to church. I remained, sir, a considerable time without any

cure, and lived a full month on one funeral sermon, which I preached on

the indisposition of a clergyman; but this by the bye. At last, when Mr

Fickle got his place, Colonel Courtly stood again; and who should make

interest for him but Mr Fickle himself! that very identical Mr Fickle,

who had formerly told me the colonel was an enemy to both the church and

state, had the confidence to sollicit my nephew for him; and the colonel

himself offered me to make me chaplain to his regiment, which I refused

in favour of Sir Oliver Hearty, who told us he would sacrifice

everything to his country; and I believe he would, except his hunting,

which he stuck so close to, that in five years together he went but

twice up to parliament; and one of those times, I have been told, never

was within sight of the House. However, he was a worthy man, and the

best friend I ever had; for, by his interest with a bishop, he got me

replaced into my curacy, and gave me eight pounds out of his own pocket

to buy me a gown and cassock, and furnish my house. He had our interest

while he lived, which was not many years. On his death I had fresh

applications made to me; for all the world knew the interest I had with

my good nephew, who now was a leading man in the corporation; and Sir

Thomas Booby, buying the estate which had been Sir Oliver's, proposed

himself a candidate. He was then a young gentleman just come from his

travels; and it did me good to hear him discourse on affairs which, for

my part, I knew nothing of. If I had been master of a thousand votes he

should have had them all. I engaged my nephew in his interest, and he

was elected; and a very fine parliament-man he was. They tell me he made

speeches of an hour long, and, I have been told, very fine ones; but he

could never persuade the parliament to be of his opinion. _Non omnia

possumus omnes_. He promised me a living, poor man! and I believe I

should have had it, but an accident happened, which was, that my lady

had promised it before, unknown to him. This, indeed, I never heard till

afterwards; for my nephew, who died about a month before the incumbent,

always told me I might be assured of it. Since that time, Sir Thomas,

poor man, had always so much business, that he never could find leisure

to see me. I believe it was partly my lady's fault too, who did not

think my dress good enough for the gentry at her table. However, I must

do him the justice to say he never was ungrateful; and I have always

found his kitchen, and his cellar too, open to me: many a time, after

service on a Sunday--for I preach at four churches--have I recruited my

spirits with a glass of his ale. Since my nephew's death, the

corporation is in other hands; and I am not a man of that consequence I

was formerly. I have now no longer any talents to lay out in the service

of my country; and to whom nothing is given, of him can nothing be

required. However, on all proper seasons, such as the approach of an

election, I throw a suitable dash or two into my sermons; which I have

the pleasure to hear is not disagreeable to Sir Thomas and the other

honest gentlemen my neighbours, who have all promised me these five

years to procure an ordination for a son of mine, who is now near

thirty, hath an infinite stock of learning, and is, I thank Heaven, of

an unexceptionable life; though, as he was never at an university, the

bishop refuses to ordain him. Too much care cannot indeed be taken in

admitting any to the sacred office; though I hope he will never act so

as to be a disgrace to any order, but will serve his God and his country

to the utmost of his power, as I have endeavoured to do before him; nay,

and will lay down his life whenever called to that purpose. I am sure I

have educated him in those principles; so that I have acquitted my duty,

and shall have nothing to answer for on that account. But I do not

distrust him, for he is a good boy; and if Providence should throw it in

his way to be of as much consequence in a public light as his father

once was, I can answer for him he will use his talents as honestly as I

have done."