The History of the Adventures of Joseph Andrews and his Friend, Mr. Abraham Abrams/Book II, Chapter II

CHAPTER II.

_A surprizing instance of Mr Adams's short memory, with the unfortunate

consequences which it brought on Joseph._

Mr Adams and Joseph were now ready to depart different ways, when an

accident determined the former to return with his friend, which

Tow-wouse, Barnabas, and the bookseller had not been able to do. This

accident was, that those sermons, which the parson was travelling to

London to publish, were, O my good reader! left behind; what he had

mistaken for them in the saddlebags being no other than three shirts, a

pair of shoes, and some other necessaries, which Mrs Adams, who thought

her husband would want shirts more than sermons on his journey, had

carefully provided him.

This discovery was now luckily owing to the presence of Joseph at the

opening the saddlebags; who, having heard his friend say he carried with

him nine volumes of sermons, and not being of that sect of philosophers

who can reduce all the matter of the world into a nutshell, seeing there

was no room for them in the bags, where the parson had said they were

deposited, had the curiosity to cry out, "Bless me, sir, where are your

sermons?" The parson answered, "There, there, child; there they are,

under my shirts." Now it happened that he had taken forth his last

shirt, and the vehicle remained visibly empty. "Sure, sir," says

Joseph, "there is nothing in the bags." Upon which Adams, starting, and

testifying some surprize, cried, "Hey! fie, fie upon it! they are not

here sure enough. Ay, they are certainly left behind."

Joseph was greatly concerned at the uneasiness which he apprehended his

friend must feel from this disappointment; he begged him to pursue his

journey, and promised he would himself return with the books to him with

the utmost expedition. "No, thank you, child," answered Adams; "it shall

not be so. What would it avail me, to tarry in the great city, unless I

had my discourses with me, which are _ut ita dicam_, the sole cause, the

_aitia monotate_ of my peregrination? No, child, as this accident hath

happened, I am resolved to return back to my cure, together with you;

which indeed my inclination sufficiently leads me to. This

disappointment may perhaps be intended for my good." He concluded with a

verse out of Theocritus, which signifies no more than that sometimes it

rains, and sometimes the sun shines.

Joseph bowed with obedience and thankfulness for the inclination which

the parson expressed of returning with him; and now the bill was called

for, which, on examination, amounted within a shilling to the sum Mr

Adams had in his pocket. Perhaps the reader may wonder how he was able

to produce a sufficient sum for so many days: that he may not be

surprized, therefore, it cannot be unnecessary to acquaint him that he

had borrowed a guinea of a servant belonging to the coach and six, who

had been formerly one of his parishioners, and whose master, the owner

of the coach, then lived within three miles of him; for so good was the

credit of Mr Adams, that even Mr Peter, the Lady Booby's steward, would

have lent him a guinea with very little security.

[Illustration]

Mr Adams discharged the bill, and they were both setting out, having

agreed to ride and tie; a method of travelling much used by persons who

have but one horse between them, and is thus performed. The two

travellers set out together, one on horseback, the other on foot: now,

as it generally happens that he on horseback outgoes him on foot, the

custom is, that, when he arrives at the distance agreed on, he is to

dismount, tie the horse to some gate, tree, post, or other thing, and

then proceed on foot; when the other comes up to the horse he unties

him, mounts, and gallops on, till, having passed by his

fellow-traveller, he likewise arrives at the place of tying. And this is

that method of travelling so much in use among our prudent ancestors,

who knew that horses had mouths as well as legs, and that they could not

use the latter without being at the expense of suffering the beasts

themselves to use the former. This was the method in use in those days

when, instead of a coach and six, a member of parliament's lady used to

mount a pillion behind her husband; and a grave serjeant at law

condescended to amble to Westminster on an easy pad, with his clerk

kicking his heels behind him.

Adams was now gone some minutes, having insisted on Joseph's beginning

the journey on horseback, and Joseph had his foot in the stirrup, when

the hostler presented him a bill for the horse's board during his

residence at the inn. Joseph said Mr Adams had paid all; but this

matter, being referred to Mr Tow-wouse, was by him decided in favour of

the hostler, and indeed with truth and justice; for this was a fresh

instance of that shortness of memory which did not arise from want of

parts, but that continual hurry in which parson Adams was

always involved.

Joseph was now reduced to a dilemma which extremely puzzled him. The sum

due for horse-meat was twelve shillings (for Adams, who had borrowed the

beast of his clerk, had ordered him to be fed as well as they could

feed him), and the cash in his pocket amounted to sixpence (for Adams

had divided the last shilling with him). Now, though there have been

some ingenious persons who have contrived to pay twelve shillings with

sixpence, Joseph was not one of them. He had never contracted a debt in

his life, and was consequently the less ready at an expedient to

extricate himself. Tow-wouse was willing to give him credit till next

time, to which Mrs Tow-wouse would probably have consented (for such was

Joseph's beauty, that it had made some impression even on that piece of

flint which that good woman wore in her bosom by way of heart). Joseph

would have found, therefore, very likely the passage free, had he not,

when he honestly discovered the nakedness of his pockets, pulled out

that little piece of gold which we have mentioned before. This caused

Mrs Tow-wouse's eyes to water; she told Joseph she did not conceive a

man could want money whilst he had gold in his pocket. Joseph answered

he had such a value for that little piece of gold, that he would not

part with it for a hundred times the riches which the greatest esquire

in the county was worth. "A pretty way, indeed," said Mrs Tow-wouse, "to

run in debt, and then refuse to part with your money, because you have a

value for it! I never knew any piece of gold of more value than as many

shillings as it would change for."--"Not to preserve my life from

starving, nor to redeem it from a robber, would I part with this dear

piece!" answered Joseph. "What," says Mrs Tow-wouse, "I suppose it was

given you by some vile trollop, some miss or other; if it had been the

present of a virtuous woman, you would not have had such a value for it.

My husband is a fool if he parts with the horse without being paid for

him."--"No, no, I can't part with the horse, indeed, till I have the

money," cried Tow-wouse. A resolution highly commended by a lawyer then

in the yard, who declared Mr Tow-wouse might justify the detainer.

As we cannot therefore at present get Mr Joseph out of the inn, we shall

leave him in it, and carry our reader on after parson Adams, who, his

mind being perfectly at ease, fell into a contemplation on a passage in

Aeschylus, which entertained him for three miles together, without

suffering him once to reflect on his fellow-traveller.

At length, having spun out his thread, and being now at the summit of a

hill, he cast his eyes backwards, and wondered that he could not see any

sign of Joseph. As he left him ready to mount the horse, he could not

apprehend any mischief had happened, neither could he suspect that he

missed his way, it being so broad and plain; the only reason which

presented itself to him was, that he had met with an acquaintance who

had prevailed with him to delay some time in discourse.

He therefore resolved to proceed slowly forwards, not doubting but that

he should be shortly overtaken; and soon came to a large water, which,

filling the whole road, he saw no method of passing unless by wading

through, which he accordingly did up to his middle; but was no sooner

got to the other side than he perceived, if he had looked over the

hedge, he would have found a footpath capable of conducting him without

wetting his shoes.

His surprize at Joseph's not coming up grew now very troublesome: he

began to fear he knew not what; and as he determined to move no farther,

and, if he did not shortly overtake him, to return back, he wished to

find a house of public entertainment where he might dry his clothes and

refresh himself with a pint; but, seeing no such (for no other reason

than because he did not cast his eyes a hundred yards forwards), he sat

himself down on a stile, and pulled out his Aeschylus.

A fellow passing presently by, Adams asked him if he could direct him

to an alehouse. The fellow, who had just left it, and perceived the

house and sign to be within sight, thinking he had jeered him, and being

of a morose temper, bade him follow his nose and be d---n'd. Adams told

him he was a saucy jackanapes; upon which the fellow turned about

angrily; but, perceiving Adams clench his fist, he thought proper to go

on without taking any farther notice.

A horseman, following immediately after, and being asked the same

question, answered, "Friend, there is one within a stone's throw; I

believe you may see it before you." Adams, lifting up his eyes, cried,

"I protest, and so there is;" and, thanking his informer, proceeded

directly to it.