The Covent-Garden Journal/Number 2

TUESDAY, JANUARY 7, 1752. Numb. 2.

-- Redeunt Saturnia Regna.   Virg.

In English,

Old Sat-n himself is come to Town.


 * IT hath been, I believe, a common Practice with Men, in all Ages, to complain of the Badness of their own Times, and as readily to commend the Goodness and Virtue of their Fore-fathers. So that it is easy to fix on several Æras in History, which have been the Subject of equal Satire and Panegyric.  Succeeding Ages have sung forth the Praises of certain Periods of Time, and have recommended them as Examples to Posterity; which yet, if we believe the Historians, as well as Satyrists, who lived in those very Periods, aboutnded with all Kinds of Vice and Iniquity.


 * To present Age, notwithstanding its Improvement as well in Virtue, as in Art and Science, doth not escape from this censorious Disposition; with all the Reason which we have to set a Value on ourselves, in Preference to so many other Ages and Countries, there are still some few at this very Time, and in this very Nation, who would persuade us, that Virtue, Taste, Learning, indeed, every Thing worthy of Commendation, were never at a lower Ebb than they are at present among us.


 * As I am of a different Opinion from these Gentlemen, and as I am naturally inclined to catch at every Opportunity of Panegyric, I shall here endeavour to shew that we are far from deserving any such Character; and that we may be compared with many other Ages and Countries very much to our Advantage.


 * To say the Truth, Men often lament the Badness of their own Times, as they do the Badness of their own Circumstances, by too injudicious a Comparison. As in the latter Case, they are always lifting their Eyes to those who shine forth in the greatest Riches and Splendor; so, in the former, they have always in their Eye, two or three of those Commonwealths which have made the greatest Figure in History; whereas, if they would act in the contrary Manner, and endeavour in both Cases to make the most advantageous Comparisons, what comfortable Instances would their own Experience afford them in the one, and History in the other?


 * To pursue therefore this Method on the present Occasion: the first Instance I shall give is that of Sodom and Gomorah. Now though the Sins of these two Cities are not very Expresly set forth in Scripture, yet, from the Consequence, I think it very reasonable to conclude, that they were, at least, somewhat worse than we are at present.


 * The Moabites, according to Moses, and the Ægyptians, if we believe some Historians, may likewise afford an advantageous Comparison.


 * The Corinthians likewise, must surely be allowed to have been worse than us, if we believe the Account given by Strabo of the rich Temple of Venus, in this City, at which above a Thousand Whores officiated as Priestesses. We read likewise in other Authors, that they worshipped a Dæmon, under the Appellation of Cottys, who was the tutelar Deity of all Lewdness and Debauchery.  Hence, the most profligate and abandoned in such Vices, were said Κορινθιάζειν i.e. to Corinthize or to be as bad as a Corinthian; which cannot, I think, be applied to us: for it is much better to have no Religion at all, as is at present our Case, than to profess such Religions as these.


 * To avoid Prolixity, I will mention only one more People, and these are the Romans themselves, during the Reign of Nero, of whom take the following short Account which Tacitus gives us as a Summary of the prodigious Licentiousness of those Times. "Nero," says my Author, "built a Vessel in Agrippa's Lake; in this Vessel, which was towed by others, he furnished out a Banquet.  The Barges were adorned with Gold and Ivory; and the Rowers were all Pathics, placed above each other, according to their Age, or superior Skill in the Science of Debauchery.  Nero had ransacked various Countries for every Kind of Flesh and Fowl, and the Ocean itself for Sea Fish: Upon one Bank of the Lake were erected Brothels, which were filled with Ladies of the first Rank; on the other Bank were exposed to View, a Number of Harlots, entirely naked.  All Kinds of Lewdness were now acted over; and, as the Night came on, the neighbouring Grove, and all the Buildings near it, were illuminated, and resounded with Music.  As for Nero, he defiled himself with every Kind of Lust; nor did he then seem to have left any Manner of Debauchery unpractised; and yet, a few Days afterwards, he contrived to out-do all, by being publickly married, with the utmost Solemnity, to one of his infamous Crew, a Fellow whose Name was Pythagoras.  On this Occasion, the Veil in which Women are married was thrown over the Roman Emperor, and all the nuptial Ceremonies, even to the Payment of the Bride's Portion, were observed.  Nor did he stop here; but all, which in a lawful Union between the Sexes, is committed to Darkness, and the Night, was now acted over in the Face of the World."


 * I have drawn this Picture at Length, as it is the most curious which, I think, History affords; and those of my Readers, at least, to whom it is new, will, I doubt not, be pleased with seeing it.


 * Many other Pictures of the same Kind might be drawn from the latter Ages of the Roman Empire: but I chose this from Nero's Reign, as it was a very few Years removed from the latter Days of Tiberius, in which the glorious Romans seem so entirely to have resembled our noble Selves.


 * From what hath been said may appear the Injustice of these general and outrageous Expressions against the Wickedness of the present Age, which we often hear from the Mouths of illiterate and inconsiderate People, and with the Repetition of which I do not care to affront my polite Reader.


 * And now surely it must be acknowledged, that we do not live in the worst of Times; but I will not be contented with this Concession. I will now attempt to prove, that we live in the best, in other Words, that this is one of the most virtuous Ages, that hath ever appeared in the World.


 * And first, if Liberty be granted, as it surely must, to be the greatest of all Blessings to any People, nothing can be more manifest, than that we enjoy this in the purest Degree. Doth not every Man in this Kingdom speak, and write, and even do, whatever best pleaseth him?  It is true, indeed, there are some few Exceptions, (enough only to prove a Rule) in which this natural Liberty hath been a little infringed, and I must own there are certain dead Letters, (as they are very properly stiled) called Laws, by which this pure State of Liberty is somewhat abridged; but, De non apparentibus, et non existentibus, eadem est Ratio.


 * Again, the greatest Virtue in the World, (according to the Tenets of a Religion some Time ago professed in this Country, and which, if my Memory fails me not, was called Christian) is Charity; the universal Extensiveness of this, I shall prove by a very strong Argument, which is by that immense Number of Beggars who frequent our Streets, and are to be found almost at every Door. This is so great a Proof of our Charity, that it would be an Affront to the Reader to endeavour to explain it.  A Beggar waiting at a Man's Door doth, indeed, as effectually prove his Charity, as a Dun, or Bailiff would assure his Neighbours that he was in Debt.


 * But there is still a higher Degree of this Virtue than what expands itself towards such Objects; and this is shewn by encouraging Merit in Arts and Sciences: This includes in it the Honour of Taste likewise; and as it veryly highly adorns the present Age, so doth it in a more particular Manner distinguish what we call our great Men.  Former Ages have, indeed, singled out one or two of the most eminent in every Art and Science, and have conferred Favours upon them as a Kind of Mark of their extraordinary Merit; but I cannot help observing there is some Cruelty in this, and that it is rather a Favour shown to the Man than to the Art or Science itself.  The nobler Method is, that which we now practise, either indiscriminately to reward all alike, at the Expence of a few Six-pences from our Pockets; or, if we make any Distinction at all, it should be, as it is, in Favour of the lowest and meanest Professors, who ought to be preferred to their Betters, as the Charity of the old English Custom preferred the younger Son to the Elder, because, as my Lord Coke observes, these were least able to provide for themselves.


 * Another Instance of the great Virtue of this Age is, that great Readiness which every Man shews to serve his Country and to be employed in its most laborious Duties.


 * This is a Virtue beyond even the Reach of Plato's Commonwealth; as appears from the following Passage which that Philosopher puts into the Mouth of Socrates; "It seems," says he, "that if there was a City composed of good Men, the Contention among them would be who should not govern, not as it is now, who should. Whence it is manifest, that he who is, in very Fact, a true Magistrate, is not so constituted that he may consult his own Good, but that he may provide for the Good of the Subject.  Every Man therefore, being conscious of this, would rather chuse that others should labour for his Advantage, than that he should enjoy the benefit of his own Pains."  In this glorious Nation, on the contrary, there is scarce a Man who scruples to plunge through thick and thin, with a View only of putting himself in the Way of serving the Public.


 * Again, when possest of Power, with how noble and disinterested a Choice do our Great Men confer their Favours on others. That they may avoid the lease Suspicion of Partiality, they commonly fill up all Vacancies with such Persons, that it would be in the highest Degree absurd to imagine they were the Objects of any Man's particular Liking or Favour; nay, such is the Generosity of these Great Men, that it is not unusual to bestow very considerable Places on their Footmen:  How much more magnificent is this than that bare Manumission which was thought so great a Reward by the old Roman.  This is not, I must own, the Invention of these Times, but hath been so long the Practice, that it seems likely to continue as long as we shall be a People.


 * Such are, in short, the Virtues of this Age; that, to use the Words of Cicero, Si vellem omnia percurrere Dies deficeret -- I shall therefore omit the rest; being well assured, that no Instances, equal to what I have mentioned, can be found in the Annals of any other Country upon the Face of the whole Earth.

*    *     *     *

NUMBER TWO

The JOURNAL of the present WAR.

Dated January 6, from the Head Quarters.

Nulla venenato est Litera mista Joco.


 * HAVING taken all Precautions, and given all the necessary Orders, on the 4th Instant, at Break of Day, we marched into Covent-Garden, and fixed our Head Quarters at the Universal Register Office opposite unto Cecil-Street in the Strand.


 * A little before our march, however, we sent a large Body of Forces, under the Command of General A. Millar, to take Possession of the most eminent Printing-Houses. The greater Part of these were garrisoned by Detachments from the Regiment of grub-Street, who all retired at the Approach of our Forces.  A small Body, indeed, under the Command of one Peeragrin Puckle, made a slight Show of Resistance; but his Hopes were soon found to be in Vain; and, at the first Report of the Approach of a younger Brother of General Thomas Jones, his whole Body immediately disappeared, and totally overthrew some of their own Friends, who were marching to their Assistance, under the Command of one Roderick Random.  This Roderick, in a former Skirmish with the People called Critics, had owed some slight Success more to the Weakness of the Critics than to any Merit of his own.


 * At the same Time, the better to secure our Retreat in Case we should meet with any Blow at the Court End of the Town, as Success, even in the best concerted Enterprize, is always doubtful, we thought it adviseable to cause two several Bodies of our Forces to move towards the Garrisons of Tom's in Cornhill, and Dick's at Temple Bar; but, to our great Pleasure, we are assured that both those Garrisons opened their Gates to our Troops at the very first Summons, and the whole Body of Critics in both unanimously declared for us; so that the secret Friends of Grub-Street have not since dared to open their Mouths.


 * All Things being disposed in this Manner, we marched, as I have before said, into Covent-Garden, and presently ordered a Part of our Army to file off to the Right, and to set down before the Bedford Coffee House. We doubt not but we have many good Friends in the Garrison, and who are very desirous to admit our Forces, but, as yet, they dare not declare themselves, being kept in Awe by a strange mixed Monster, not much unlike the famous Chimera of old:  for while some of our Reconnoiterers tell us that this Monster hath the Appearance of a Lion, others assure us, that his Ears are much longer than those of that generous Beast.  Be this as it will, as we are not yet prepared for an Attack, Yesterday, about Six in the Evening, we blockheaded up the said Coffee House.


 * On the 6th Instant, at Night, we received Intelligence at the Head Quarters, that a large and formidable Body of critics were assembled at a certain Place in St. James's Street, upon which a reconnoitring Party was presently dispatched that Way, upon whose Return we presently perceived the whole to be a false Alarm; for that the suspected Critics were very innocently engaged at certain unlawful Games, and we were well assured, that not a Man of them had looked in a Book for a Month last past. Nay, one of our Spies declared, that the curret Bet of the House was Ten to One on our Side; nay, that Five hundred to Three was offered, that the Bedford Coffee House would surrender within a Week; and no Person present would take it up.

(To be continued in our next.)