The Confessions of Saint Augustine (Outler)/Book I/Chapter XVIII


 * Men keep with care the rules of grammar; but neglect the eternal laws of lasting salvation.

But what marvel that I was thus carried away to vanities, and went out from Thy presence, O my God, when men were set before me for imitation, who, if in relating some action of theirs, expressed themselves with some barbarism or solecism, being censured, were abashed; but if they related their own immortalities in words well chosen and aptly put together, with fluency and eloquence, being praised, they gloried? These thing Thou seest, Lord, and holdest Thy peace; "long-suffering and plenteous in mercy and truth" (Ps. lxxxvi. 15). Wilt Thou for ever hold Thy peace? and even now thou dost pluck out of this most frightful gulf the soul that seeketh Thee, that thirsteth for Thy pleasures, "whose heart saith unto Thee, I have sought Thy face; Thy face, Lord, I will seek" (Ps. xxvii. 8). For "in darkened affections I was far off from Thee" (See Rom. i. 21). For it is not by our feet, or by local distances, that men leave Thee, or return unto Thee. Or did that Thy younger son look out for horses or chariots or ships, fly with invisible wings, or with knees bent to walk, take his journey, that he might in a far country waste in riotous living all Thou gavest at his faring forth? a loving Father, when Thou gavest, and more loving unto him when he returned empty. So then lustful affections are in truth darkened; and they are the "country" far from Thy face.

Behold, O Lord God, yea, behold patiently as Thou art wont, how carefully the sons of men observe the conventional rules of letters and symbols received from former speakers, neglecting the eternal covenant of everlasting salvation received from Thee; insomuch, that any who should hold to, or teach, the obsolete opinions of pronunciation and contrary to grammatical rule, should fail to aspirate the "h" in "uman being," would give more offence to human beings than if he, a human being, were to hold human beings in hatred, contrary to Thy precepts. As if, forsooth, once could receive more hurt from any human enemy, than the hatred's self with which he is incensed against him; or could wound more deeply him whom he persecutes, than he wounds his own soul by his enmity. Assuredly no science of letters is implanted in us, as the law of conscience, "Do not unto another as you would not be done by." How Thou dost hide Thyself, O God, Thou only great, "that dwellest on high" (Isaiah xxxiii. 5) in silence, and by an unwearied law dost for punishment send blindness upon lawless desires. In quest of the fame of eloquence, a man standing before a human judge, surrounded by a human crowd, inveighing against his enemy with fiercest hatred, will take heed most watchfully, lest, by a slip of the tongue, he should say "amun' men;" but will take no heed, lest, through the fury of his spirit, he should take away his life from among men.