The Confessions of Saint Augustine (Outler)/Book I/Chapter XII


 * He was compelled to labour at his studies; and confesses in this that God is good.

In boyhood itself, however (so much less dreaded for me than youth), I loved not lessons, and hated to be forced to them. Yet I was forced; and this was well done towards me, but I did not well; for, unless compelled, I would not have learnt. But no one does well what he doth unwillingly, even though what he doth, be well. Yet neither did they well who forced me, but what was well was done of Thee, my God. For they did not care to what use I might put what they compelled me to learn, except to satiate the insatiate desires of a want that hath abundance, and a glory that is full of shame. (See Rev. iii, 17, and Phil. iii, 19) But Thou, “by whom the very hairs of our head are all numbered” (S. Matt. x. 30), didst use for my good the error of all who urged me to learn; and my own who would not learn, Thou didst use for my punishment—a punishment of which I was not undeserving, being so small a boy, yet so great a sinner. So by those who did not well, Thou didst well for me; and by my own sin Thou dist justly requite me. For thou hast commanded, and so it is, that every inordinate affection should be its own punishment.