The Confessions of Saint Augustine (Outler)/Book I/Chapter V


 * He seeketh rest in God, and forgiveness of his sins.

Oh! that I might find rest in Thee! Oh! that Thou wouldest enter into my heart, and saturate it, that I may forget my own ills, and embrace Thee, my only good! What art Thou to me? In Thy pity teach me to utter it. Or what am I to Thee that Thou demandest love from me, and, if I comply not, art wroth with me, and dost menace me with grievous woes? Is it then but a slight woe to love Thee not? Ah me! by Thy compassions tell me, O Lord my God, what Thou art to me. "Say unto my soul, I am thy salvation" (Ps. xxxv. 3). So say it, that I may hear. Behold, Lord, the ears of my heart are before me; open Thou them and "say unto my soul, I am thy salvation." After this word let me hasten and lay hold on Thee. Hide not Thy face from me. Let me die (that I die not) that I may see Thy face.

Narrow is the dwelling-place within my soul; enlarge Thou it, that Thou mayest enter in. It is ruinous; do Thou repair it. It has that within which must offend Thine eyes; I confess and know it. But who shall cleanse it? or to whom should I cry, save Thee? "Lord, cleanse me from my secret faults; keep Thy servant also from presumptuous sins" (Ps. xix. 12, 13). "I believe, and therefore do I speak" (Ps. cxvi. 10). Lord, Thou knowest. "Have I not confessed my sins unto the Lord: and so Thou hast forgiven the wickedness of my sins" (Ps. xxxii. 6). "I contend not in judgment with Thee" (Job ix. 2), who art the truth; I seek not to deceive myself; "lest my iniquity lie unto itself" (Ps. xxii. 12, Vulg.). Therefore I contend not in judgment with Thee; "for if Thou, Lord, art extreme to mark what is done amiss, O Lord, who may abide it?" (Ps. cxxx. 3).