The Complete Poems of Paul Laurence Dunbar/When A Feller's Itchin' To Be Spanked

WHEN A FELLER'S ITCHIN' TO BE SPANKED

W'en us fellers stomp around, makin' lots o' noise, Gramma says, "There's certain times come to little boys W'en they need a shingle or the soft side of a plank;" She says "we're a-itchin' for a right good spank." An' she says, "Now thes you wait, It's a-comin'—soon or late, W'en a feller's itchin' fer a spank."

W'en a feller's out o' school, you know how he feels, Gramma says we wriggle 'roun' like a lot o' eels. W'y it's like a man that's thes home from out o' jail. What's the use o' scoldin' if we pull Tray's tail? Gramma says, tho', "Thes you wait, It's a-comin'—soon or late, You'se the boys that's itchin' to be spanked."

Cats is funny creatures an' I like to make 'em yowl, Gramma alwus looks at me with a awful scowl An' she says, "Young gentlemen, mamma should be thanked Ef you'd get your knickerbockers right well spanked." An' she says, "Now thes you wait, It's a-comin'—soon or late," When a feller's itchin' to be spanked. Ef you fin' the days is gettin' awful hot in school An' you know a swimmin' place where it's nice and cool, Er you know a cat-fish hole brimmin' full o' fish, Whose a-goin' to set around school and wish? 'Tain't no use to hide your bait, It's a-comin,—soon or late, Wen a feller's itchin' to be spanked.

Ol' folks know most ever'thing 'bout the world, I guess, Gramma does, we wish she knowed thes a little less, But I alwus kind o' think it 'ud be as well Ef they wouldn't alwus have to up an' tell; We kids wish 'at they'd thes wait, It's a-comin'—soon or late, Wen a feller's itchin' to be spanked.