The Case is Altered/Act II Scene II

SCENE II.

Enter Christophero, Juniper, and Onion.

Chr. What says my fellow Onion? come on.

Oni. All of a house, sir, but not fellows;

you are my lord's steward: but I pray you

what think you of love, sir?

Chr. Of love, Onion! why it's a very honourable humour.'

Oni. Nay, if it be but worshipful, I care not.

Junip. Go to, it's honourable, check not

at the conceit of the gentleman.

Oni. But in truth, sir, you shall do well to

think well of love: for it thinks well of you,

in me, I assure you.

Chr. Gramercy, fellow Onion; I do think

well, thou art in love, art thou?

Oni. Partly, sir; but I am asham'd to say wholly.

Chr. Well, I will further it in thee to any

honest woman, or maiden, the best I can.

Junip. Why now you come near him, sir,

he doth vaile, he doth remunerate, he doth

chew the cud in the kindness of an honest

imperfection to your worship.

Chr. But who is it thou lovest, fellow Onion?

Oni. Marry, a poor man's daughter; but

none of the honestest, I hope.

Chr. Why, wouldst thou not have her honest?

Oni. O no, for then I am sure she would not have me.

'Tis Rachel de Prie.

Chr. Why she hath the name of a very virtuous maiden.

Junip. So she is, sir; but the fellow talks

in quiddities, he.

Chr. What wouldst thou have me do in the matter?

Oni. Do nothing, sir, I pray you, but

speak for me.

Chr. In what manner?

Oni. My fellow Juniper can tell you, sir.

Junip. Why as thus, sir: your worship

may commend him for a fellow fit for consanguinity, and that he shaketh with desire

of procreation, or so.

Chr. That were not so good, methinks.

Junip. No, sir! why so, sir? what if you

should say to her, corroborate thyself, sweet

soul, let me distinguish thy paps with my

fingers, divine mumps, pretty Pastorella!

lookest thou so sweet and bounteous? com-

fort my friend here.

Chr. Well I perceive you wish I should

say something may do him grace, and further his desires,

and that be sure I will.

Oni. I thank you, sir; God save your

life, I pray God, sir.

Junip. Your worship is too good to live

long; you'll contaminate me no service.

Chr. Command thou wouldst say; no,

good Juniper.

Junip. Health and wealth, sir.

[Exeunt Onion and Juniper.]

Chr. This wench will I solicit for myself,

Making my lord and master privy to it;

And if he second me with his consent,

I will proceed, as having long ere this

Thought her a worthy choice to make my wife.