The American Language/Appendix 2

[I am indebted to Mr. Ring W. Lardner, author of "You Know Me, Al," for the following. It combines the common language with the special argot of the professional baseball-players, a class of men whose speech Mr. Lardner has studied with great diligence.]

[''Plot: The enemy has fallen on our pitcher and scored five runs. The side is finally retired and our men come in to the bench, where the manager awaits them.'']

MANAGER&mdash;What the hell!

PITCHER (indicating the catcher)&mdash;Ask him!

CATCHER&mdash;Ask yourself, you yella bum! (To the manager) Hes been shakin me off all day.

MANAGER&mdash;What was it Peck hit?

PITCHER&mdash;I was tryin to waste it.

CATCHER&mdash;Waste it! You dinked it up there chest high. He couldnt of got a better cut at it if hed of tooken the ball in his hand.

PITCHER (to the catcher)&mdash;You could of got Shawkey at the plate if youd of left Jacks peg hop. He never even hit the dirt.

CATCHER&mdash;It would of been a short hop and I couldnt take no chance. You wasnt backin up. You was standin over in back of third base, posin for a pitcher (=picture) or somethin.

MANAGER (to the catcher)&mdash;What the hell happened on that ball on Bodie?

CATCHER&mdash;He (referring to the pitcher) crossed me up. I ast him for a hook and he yessed me and then throwed a fast one.

PITCHER&mdash;It was a curve ball, just like you ast me, only it didnt break good.

MANAGER (to the pitcher)&mdash;And what about Ruth? Is that all the more sense you got, groovin one for that big ape! Youd of did better to roll it up there.

PITCHER&mdash;The ball he hit was outside.

MANAGER&mdash;You mean after he hit it. For Gods sakes, use your head in there! This aint Fort Worth!

PITCHER&mdash;I wisht to hell it was!

MANAGER&mdash;And youre lible to get your wish!

Glossary

In there: In the pitchers position.

Up there: In the batters position.

Shakin me off: Refusing to pitch the kind of ball I signalled for.

Waste: To pitch a ball so high or so far outside that the batsman cannot reach it.

Dink: To throw a slow ball.

Hook: A curve ball.

Peg: A throw.

Hop: To bound.

Hit the dirt: To slide.