Page:Zora Neale Hurston - Lawing and Jawing.pdf/5



(Arms akimbo)

Yes, I sold it and I'll sell it again.

(snaps fingers and and shakes hips)

How does ole booze-selling mama talk?

Yes, five thousand dollars and ten years in jail.

(Snaps fingers and shakes hips)

How does ole heavy fining papa talk?

(She is led away, shouting and weeping)

De Otis Blunt, charged wid stealin' a mule.

(LAWYER arises and comes forward with theprisoner)

You can't covict this man. I'm here to represent him.

Yo' mouf might spout lak a coffee pot but I got a lawyer

(Looks at other lawyer)

dat kin beat yours segastuatin'.

(Looks at admiring girl)

How am I chewin' my dictionary and minglin' my alphabets?

Well, I kin try, can't I?

Oh yeah, you kin try, but I kin see right now where he's gointer git all de time dat God ever made dat ain't been used already. From now on.

(To LAWYER)

Go 'head, and spread yo' lungs all over Georgy, but he's goin' to jail! Mules be respected.

(Striking a pose at the bar)

Your Honor,

(Looks at thepretty girl)

Ladies and Gentlemen -

Never mind 'bout dat lady. You talk yo' chat to.

This is a clear case of syllogism! Again I say syllogism. My client is innocent because it was a dark night when they say he stole the mule and that's against all laws of syllogism.

(JUDGE looks impressed and laughs)