Page:Zangwill-King of schnorrers.djvu/321

307 A A'OSE OF THE GHETTO. 307

"And suppose? See how much better off you will be when you get your own machines ! We do not refuse to let camels carry our burdens because they have humps."

"Ah, but a wife is not a camel," said Leibel, with a sage air.

"And a cutter is not a master-tailor," retorted Sugarman.

" Enough, enough ! " cried Leibel. " I tell you I would not have her if she were a machine warehouse."

"There sticks something behind," persisted Sugarman, unconvinced.

Leibel shook his head. " Only her hump," he said, with a flash of humour.

"Moses Mendelssohn had a hump," expostulated Sugar- man reproachfully.

"Yes, but he was a heretic," rejoined Leibel, who was not without reading. " And then he was a man ! A man with two humps could find a wife for each. But a woman with a hump cannot expecc a husband in addition."

" Guard your tongue from evil," quoth the Shadchan angrily. " If everybody were to talk like you, Leah Vol- covitch would never be married at all."

Leibel shrugged his shoulders, and reminded him that hunchbacked girls who stammered and squinted and halted on left legs were not usually led under the canopy.

"Nonsense! Stuff!" cried Sugarman angrily. "That is because they do not come to me."

" Leah Volcovitch has come to you," said Leibel, "but she shall not come to me." And he rose, anxious to escape.

Instantly Sugarman gave a sigh of resignation. " Be it so ! Then I shall have to look out for another, that's all."

" No, I don't want any," replied Leibel quickly.

Sugarman stopped eating. "You don't want any?" he cried. "But you came to me for one?"