Page:Wonderful exploits of wise Willie & witty Eppie, the ale wife.pdf/16

( 16 ) A well then, my Lord, I ſhall ſuppoſe an ye were a few, an me firing driting, an you to bite my arſe: ſudna I hae amends o' you for that? Od, my Lord, ye wadna hae a bit out o' your arſe for twenty merks; ye maun e'en gar Muiredge gie ten merks to buy a plaſter to heal the poor bit wean's arſe again: well ſaid, willie, ſays my Lord but who puts on the ſow's noſe again? A figs, my Lord, ſaid willie, ſhe's honeſter like wantin it, an ſhe'll bite nae mae arſes wi't; an ye had hane a noſe, my Lord, as long as the ſow had, ye'd been obliged to ony body it wad cut a piece af't.

A gentleman coming paſt near their town, aſked one of their wives where their College ſtood? Said ſhe, Give me a ſhilling, an I'll let you ſee both ſides o't, he gives her a ſhilling, thinking to ſee ſomething curious! Now, ſays ſhe, there's the one ſide of your ſhilling, and there's the other; ſo it's mine now.

PART III.

Now wiſe willie being ſo admired for his juſt judgment, in cutting off the ſow's noſe, that my Lord, in a mocking manner, made him burly-bailie of Buck haven, Lang Sandy was provoſt, and John Thrums the weaver was dean of guild, but witty Eppie had ay the caſting-vote in a' their controverſies.

There happened one day a running horſe to be ſtanding at one of their doors, and a child going about, the horſe tramped upon the child's foot, which cauſed the poor child to cry! The mother came running in a paſ-