Page:Women in Love, Lawrence, 1920.djvu/13

Rh to come along a highly attractive individual of sufficient means — well —" she tailed off ironically. Then she looked searchingly at Ursula, as if to probe her. "Don't you find yourself getting bored?" she asked of her sister. "Don't you find, that things fail to materialize? Nothing materializes! Everything withers in the bud."

"What withers in the bud?" asked Ursula.

"Oh, everything — oneself — things in general." There was a pause, whilst each sister vaguely considered her fate. "It does frighten one," said Ursula, and again there was a pause. "But do you hope to get anywhere by just marrying?"

"It seems to be the inevitable next step," said Gudrun. Ursula pondered this, with a little bitterness. She was a class mistress herself, in Willey Green Grammar School, as she had been for some years.

"I know," she said, "it seems like that when one thinks in the abstract. But really imagine it: imagine any man one knows, imagine him coming home to one every evening, and saying 'Hello,' and giving one a kiss — "

There was a blank pause.

"Yes," said Gudrun, in a narrowed voice. "It's just impossible. The man makes it impossible."

"Of course there's children — " said Ursula doubtfully.

Gudrun's face hardened.

"Do you really want children, Ursula?" she asked coldly. A dazzled, baffled look came on Ursula's face.

"One feels it is still beyond one," she said.

"Do you feel like that?" asked Gudrun. "I get no feeling whatever from the thought of bearing children."

Gudrun looked at Ursula with a mask-like, expressionless face. Ursula knitted her brows.

"Perhaps it isn't genuine," she faltered. "Perhaps one doesn't really want them, in one's soul — only superficially." A hardness came over Gudrun's face. She did not want to be too definite.

"When one thinks of other people's children — " said Ursula.

Again Gudrun looked at her sister, almost hostile.