Page:Witty and entertaining exploits of George Buchannan.pdf/4

, George in the night caused a deep pit to be made, and the earth of it carried away, afterwards filled it up with the dung of a privy, and covered it over with a green turf, that it might not be known by the other ground; so according to promise they both met in the morning against the time appointed. Now, George being the oldest man, and by them counted the greatest fool, the young man permitted him to jump first, which according to order performed, and jumped with a foot of the place, where the ground was falsified, the young man seeing this, made his performance afterwards with great airs and all his might so that he jumped a foot over George, up to his oxters in clean dung; whereat the whole multitude of spectators cried out with huzza and laughter. Now says George, I told you we would end in and about, where we began, and that is in clean dirt.

On a time after this, the king and his court were going into the country, and they would have George to ride before them in the fool's dress, whereunto he seemed unwilling, yet it was the King's pleasure, so George was mounted on an old horse, a pair of old riven boots, with the heels hanging down a palmer coat, patched over with pictures, all of drivers kinds: George rode before them in this posture, which caused great laughter and diverson, until they came unto an inn, where they alighted to dine: and in the time they were at dinner, George went unto the stables and with a knife cut all the horses chasts, not sore, but so as they might bleed. Now as soon as dinner was over, and they mounted on their horses again: George riding before them as usual, in his palmer coat and boots, they began to make their game of him, then George turned about suddenly, and clapping his hands with loud laughter, they asked him what made him laugh so? Laugh, says George, however I but laugh? when horses cannot hold their peace; O my sovereign, says George, don't you see how the horses have rent all their chafts laughing at my old boots? then every man seeking at his horses mouth, they were all in a sage against George; the king caused him to be dismounted directly, and charged him never to let him see his face again on English ground. Now George knowing that nothing could reconcile the King at this time, he came away to Scotland, and caused make him a pair of great boots, and put a quantity of Scottish earth in each of them, and away he goes for England, to see the king once more. He hearing the King and his court was to pass through a country village, George places himself up in old windows, and sets up his ba e wise to the king and his court his court, as they passce The king was greatly amaze to see such an unsual {illegible}} to him, was curious to know the performer; so he