Page:Witty and entertaining exploits of George Buchannan.pdf/3



R. GEORGE BUCHANNAN, was a Scotsman born, and of mean parentage, made great progress in learning. As or his understanding and ready wit, he exceeded all men then alive, in that age, that ever proposed questions to him.—He was servant or teacher to King James VI. as his privy counseller, but publicly he acted as his fool.

1. It happened one day, that a young airy nobleman, went into the King's Garden, to pull a flower, for a young lady he fancied. George followed at a distance, and when the young man found the flower to his pleasure, he wound not pull it himself, but to find it again without further seeking, he covered it with his hat, and went went [sic] away for his sweetheart.—No sooner was he gone, but up goes George, lifts the hat, and pulls the flower, then eases himself on the spot, and covers it with his hat again, and away he goes.—In comes the young man, leading his sweetheart to pull the flower below the hat; but a soon as he lifted the hat, and seeing what was below, he looked like a fool: The lady flies in a passion, and off she goes, never to countenance him any more. The young man being fully vexed at the affront, done to him by George, sent him a challenge to fight him, appointed a day and place where they were to meet, being to fight on horse-back, George gets an old stiff horse, and for harnessing covers him about with blown bladders, with a few little small stones in each, without either sword or spear, and away to the field he goes, where the dud was appointed, so when George saw his enemy coming against him, all in glittering armour, armed with sword and spear, he rode up to his horse, (as is said) being all covered over with bladders, the small stones in them made such a terrible noise, that the gentleman's fine gelding would not stand in battle, but ran away, and threw his master on the ground, which caused all the spectators to laugh, and say, the gentleman was more fool than George. The gentleman being so enraged at this second affront, he would fight George on foot; but his friends persuaded him that it would be no honour to him to fight and kill the king's fool, and far less to be killed by the fool: so they were advised both to agree. But the gentleman would try another exploit with George, for to have it said he was the cleverest man, to hold him jumping-bout publicly the next day thereafter. With all my heart says George, and we will end in and about where we began; they not knowing his meaning in this. The place and hour being set where they were to meet next