Page:Witty and entertaining exploits of George Buchannan.pdf/14

( 14 ) PART III

AFTER this, George being in Cornwall about ſome buſineſs, where he chanced to run ſhort of money, and not knowing what to do, not being acquainted with none in that country, and knowing his landlord to be loyal to the government, and a great favourite to the king his maſter, he takes a piece of brick and brays it into a ſmall powder mixed with a little chalk ſo that it might ſeem in colour like Arſenick, which is ſtrong-poiſon. Then tying it up in papers writing on this direction. The ſtrongeſt poiſon for the king,' and the other paper, "The flower poiſon for the queen.' Out he goes on purpoſe, and leaves the papers lying on the table, where he knew they would be looking at them: The landlord perceived the direction, ſo in comes George in great haſte, and calls out, 'O landlord did you ſee two ſmall bundles I have loſt, and I know not what I ſhall do, for it was my main buſineſs to take them to London.' O you murdering rogue! cries the landlord, I will have you hanged for what you intend. George at this made off and was going to fly for it, but the landlord called for aſſiſtance, ſo he was apprehended and made priſoner of ſtate, and carried to London by a troop of horſe; when the people there began to know him and tell who was, his guard ſlipt away ſhamefully and left him, ſo George thanked them for their good company and ſafe convoy.

There was a law made againſt wearing ſwords at balls and aſſemblies in the reign of King James the VI. becauſe they are inconvenient on the occaſions. But Goe to be witty in the provided himſelf with a very long ſcabbard, and got himſelf introduced to a ball where the king and his court were preſent. Goe made ſeveral turns through the company, making his ſcabbard hit against their ſhins, and ſometimes ſlipt it below lady's ſardinial and in ſhort, moleſted the company ſo much that it was taken notice of, and ſcared as a perſon who had incurred the penalties of the act aforeſaid. But George excuſed himſelf telling them, that the law was only at ſword, and he only wore a ſcabbard, was no ways fiable. At ſeeing this, the king and his court were convinced that the law was imperfect, and that George had more wit than themſelves.

George one day caſing himſelf at the corner of a hedge, was eſpied by an Engliſh ſquire, who began to mock him, aſking him, why he did not heckle like the hens? But George, whoſe wit was always ready, told him, who was a-afraid to heckle, leaſt he would come and ſnatch up the egg. Which rebuff ls the ſquire walk off as mute as a fiſh.

George was a Profeſſor of in the College of St. Andrew's and ps out one day in his gown and ſlippers, and went to