Page:Witty and entertaining exploits of George Buchanan (17).pdf/3

( 3 ) ploit with George, for to have is ſaid he was the clevereſt man, to hold him a jumping-bout publicly the next day thereafter. With all my heart, ſays George, and we will end in and about where we began; they not knowing his meaning in this. The place and hour being ſet where they were to meet next morning, George in the night cauſed a deep pit to be made, and the earth of it earried away, afterwards filled it up with the dung of a privy, and covered it with a green turf, ſo that it might not be known by the other ground; ſo according to promiſe, both met in the morning, againſt the time appointed. Now George being the oldeſt man, and by them counted the greateſt fool, the young man permitted him to jump firſt, which he according to order performed jumping within a foot of the place, where the ground was falſified, the young man ſeeing this, made his performance afterwards with great airs and all his might, to that he jumped a foot over George, up to his oxters among clean dung; whereat the whole multitude of ſpectators cried out with huzza and laughter. Now, ſays George, I told you we would end in and about where we began, and that is in clean dirt.

On a time after this, the king and his court were going into the country, and they would have George to ride before them in the fool's dreſs, whereunto he ſeemed unwilling, yet it was the king's pleaſure, ſo George was mounted on an old horſe, a pair of old riven boots, with the heels hanging down a palmer ooat, patched over with pictures all of divers kinds; George rode before them in this poſture, which cauſed great laughter and diverſion, until they came to an inn, where they alighted to dine, and in the time they were at dinner, George went into the ſtables, and with a knife cut all the horſes chaſts, not ſore, but ſo as they might bleed. Now as ſoon as dinner was over, and they mounted on their horſes again: George riding before them, as uſual, in his palmer coat and boots, they began to make their game of him; then George turned about ſuddenly, and clapping his hands with loud laughter, they aſked him what made him laugh ſo? Laugh, ſays George, how can I but laugh! when horſes can't hold their peace: O my ſovereign, ſays George, don't you fee how the horſes have rent all their chafts laughing at my old boots? then every man looking at his horſes mouth, they were all in rage againſt George; the king cauſed him to be diſmounted directly, and charged him never to let him ſee his face again on English ground. Now George