Page:Witty and entertaining exploits of George Buchanan (17).pdf/24

( 24 ) door, according to his maſter's orders. The ſquire entered th room firſt, and awakened George out of his ſleep, then ſaid Riſe up you madman, and put on your cloathes. To which George answered. O thou haſt loſt thy wad man, for I am none of thoſe. The Engliſh ſquire confeſſed he was fairly beaten and could match him with no more. Then another gentleman would hold five guienas, that he would give him a word or line that he ſhould not metre at the firſt anſwer, and to answer it directly as ſoon as he had done ſpeaking: but George ordered him firſt to table; his money and then to proceed, which he did in all haſte, and ſaid as follows:

My belly rumbled and then I farted. George gripping to the money anſwered, A fool and his money is ſoon parted. Then they all cried out he was fairly beat and what George had ſaid was really true; but never would lay any more wagers concerning poetry.

After this George got a letter from a biſhop telling him that he was coming to viſit him, and take dinner with him in his lodgings; George ſent an anſwer to him that he would wait upon his lordſhip on the day appointed; but well did George know it was not for any love he had unto him that he was coming to ſee him, but to ſpy fairlies, therefore he thought he ſhould give him ſomething to talk about. So George ſent his ſervant to a bookſeller's ſhop to buy a dozen of ſmall pamphlets about a halfpenny a piece ſuch as A 'Groat's Worth of Wit for a penny.' 'The hiſtory of the King and the Cobler, and ſuch pieces as theſe. Taking all his own books away, and putting the pamphlets in their place which is preſented to the biſhop, when he aſked for the ſight of his library. What, ſays the biſhop, have you no more books but theſe? No more, ſays George, but my bible, juſt no more, O ſay's the biſhop I wonder how you can either ſpeak plain or write a perfect ſentence when you have no other books but theſe. O ſays George, d you think that I am a clergyman, to borrow other men's ſermon; to beautify my works? No, no, not I; all that I write or dite I meditate out of my brain. This check concerning borrowing put the biſhop in a cold ſweat, yet he concealed his paſſion. Then George called to his ſervant if dinner w s ready yet, to which he anſwered, Come, maſter, come the pot is on the boil, get out the meal peck: then George come into the room where his ſervant was, and ſet the Biſhop at the ſide of the re, and ſat down at the other himſelf; while his ſervant,