Page:Witty and entertaining exploits of George Buchanan (17).pdf/20

( 20 ) George being at dinner one day, when the broth was exceeding hot, burnt his mouth, and at the ſame time letting go a loud fart. It is well for you, ſays George, that you made your eſcape, for I ſhould have burnt you alive had you ſtaid.

PART IV.

A Young curate with more pertneſs then wit or learning being aſked in company how he came to take it into his head to enter in to the miniſtry of the church? Becauſe ſaid he the Lord had need of me. That may he replied George, who was preſent for I have often heard that the Lord had once need of an aſs

After this George being ſent with the British Ambaſſador into Italy by the way of Paris, and as they were viewing the beautiful ſtatutes and large buildings of that ſpacious city, the king and many of his nobles in company; as they were walking thro' the King's garden, among the images of the ſaints, they came to the image of the Virgin Mary, who ſtood a melancholy poſture with the bade in her arms one of the noblemen ſays to the British Ambaſſador don't you think that ſhe look if ſhe were angry? O yes, ſays George, ſhe's angry when ſhe ſees Engliſhmen and Frenchmen in friendſhip and uninty one with another. No, no, ſays the French king, ſhe loves, nothing better than the reconcilation of enmemies, peace and unity is her delight. Then George gets in below the ſtatue, and looks up: O ſays George, I know what is the matter now for ſomeboby has driven a nail in her arſe, I ſee the head of it ſticking out, it would vex any living, be's a piece of wood At this the king was greatly enraged at George for ſaying ſo, for calling her a piece of wood and nothing would ſatisfy the king unleſs George wunld fall down and worſhip the Vrigin Mary and crave pardon of her for the blaſphemous reproaches wherwith he had reproached her. Then George cries out, O may it pleaſe your Majeſty, to remit at this time. I dare not look her in the face, ſhe frowns on me with ſuch an angry countenance: this dutiful command of yours muſt be delayed until I return from Italy, and then I ſhall fulfil your demand in paying her all dutiful reſpects, and worſhip unto her according to what ſhe is. So here the Ambaſſador ſtood bound for George, that he would perform this piece of worſhip at his return, according to the king's pleaſure.

Now duri ing their ſtay in Italy, they chanced to be in a nobleman's houſe, where they kept but few ſervants, becauſe of a ſpirit that did haunt the houſe for the ſpace of 200 years before that time, ſo that no ſervant could work any kind of