Page:Witty and entertaining exploits of George Buchanan (17).pdf/18

( 18 ) for ſuch a wit, that he looked upon him as a very dull fellow: but the noble man aſſured the king whatever he thought of him, George was a very witty and ingenious man; where-upon the king was reſolved to make a further trial of him, and took him into the great gallery, where there was abundance of fine pictures, and among the reſt, ſhewed him the picture of Chriſt on the croſs, and aſked him if he knew who that was? but George made himſelf very ignorant, and anſwered No. Why ſays the king, I will tell you if you do not know. This is the picture of our Saviour on the croſs, and that on the right hand is the Pope's and that on the left is my own. Whereupon George replied, I humbly thank your Majeſty for the information, for though I have often heard that our Saviour was crucified between two thieves, yet I never knew who they were before.

A ſharper who acquired vaſt riches by cheating, told George, that if ſuch a thing as a good name was to be purchaſed, would freely give ten thouſand pounds for one. Sir, ſaid George, it would certainly be the worst money you ever laid out in your life. Why ſo, ſaid the ſharper? Becauſe anſwered he, you will loſe it in leſs than a week.

One aſked George why men always made ſuit to the women, and women never to the men? Why, ſays he, becauſe the women are always ready for the men, but the men are not always ready for the women.

George went into the mint one day when they were melting gold? one of them aſked George, if he would have his hat full of gold? George readily accepted, but it burnt the bottom out of his hat, as they knew it would, and for that bout they foolled George; however, George to be even with them bought a fine large hat and cauſed a plate copper to be put betwixt the hat and the lining, and returned next day, they, jeſtingly, aſked him if he would have another hat full of goid? He ſaid he would They gave it red hot, and George now laughed at them in his turn, telling them that this new hat was a good one and ſtood fire better than the old one and ſo carried it off honeſtly; being afterwards proſecuted for to return it, he excuſed himſelf telling the judge, that he took nothing but what was given him; therefore he was honourably acquitted and the other heartily laughed at.

In the reign of King James the VI. George dining one day with the Lord Mayor, after two or three healths the miniſter was toaſted, but when it came to George's turn to drink, he diverted it ſome time by telling a ſtory to the perſon who ſat