Page:Witty and entertaining exploits of George Buchanan (17).pdf/15

( 15 ) witty in the act, provided himſelf with a very long ſcabbard, and got himſelf introduced to a ball where the king and his court were preſent. George made ſeveral turns through the company, making his ſcabbord hit against their ſins, and ſometimes ſlipt in below a lady's fardingal: and in ſhort moleſted the company ſo much that he was taken notice of, and ſeized as a perſon who had incurred the penalty of the act aforeſaid. But George excuſed himſelf, telling them, that the law was only againſt ſwords, and as he only wore a ſcabbard, was no ways liable. At ſeeing this, the king and his court were convinced that the law was imperfect, and that George had more wit than thmeſelves,

George one day eaſing himself at the ſide of a hedge was eſpied by an Engliſh 'ſquire who began to mock him, aſking him why he did not keckle like the hens? But George, whoſe wit was always ready, told him he was afraid to ke- kle, leſt he would come and ſnatch up the egg. Which re- buff made the ſquire walked off as mute as a fiſh.

George was profeſſor of the College of St. Andrews, and ſlipt out one day in his gown and flippers, and went to his travels through Italy, and ſeveral other foreign countries, and after ſeven years reſumed with the ſame dreſs he went off in; and entering the College, took poffeſſion of his ſeat there, but the proffeſor in his room quarrelled him for ſo doing. Says George it is a very odd thing that a man cannot take a walk in his ſlippers, but another will take up his ſeat. And ſo ſet the other proffeſſor about his buſineſs.

George was met one day by three biſhops, who paid him the following compliments. Says the firſt, Good day, father Abraham; ſays the ſecond, Good day, father Iſaac; ſays the third, Good day, father Jacob, To whom he replied, I am neither father Abraham, father Isaac, nor father Jacob; but I am Saul the ſon of Kiſh ſent out to ſeek my father's aſſes, and lo! I have found three of them.' Which anſwer convinced the biſhops that they had miſtaken their man.

A poor Scotſman dined one day at a publick houſe in London upon eggs, and not having money to pay, got credit till he would return, the man being lucky in trade, acquired vaſt riches, and after ſome years returned, and calling at the houſe where he was owing his dinner of eggs he had from him ſuch a time, but the landlord now ſeeing him rich gave him a bill of ſome hundred pounds, telling as his reaſon for ſo extravagent a charge, that theſe eggs, had they been hatched, would have been chickens, and theſe laying more eggs, would