Page:Witty and entertaining exploits of George Buchanan (15).pdf/5

 O F G E O R G E  B U C H A N A N.       5

hang a man for a ſinleſs infirmity and that's a fart. The Queen being ſo enraged at this affront, put on her firſt propoſal at Parliament, went off in a paſſion, and never would countenance them any more. But yet to be revenged on George, ſhe would never give the King reſt till he delivered up George into her hands, that he might be puniſhed at her pleaſure; which the King accordingly commanded to be done, knowing that George would reſcue himſelf by ſome intrigue or other. No ſooner was he delivered into her hands, to be at her diſpoſal, but ſhe and her Maries pronounced his doom, which was as follows: 'As he had affronted the Queen among ſo great an equipage, who ought to be honoured in chief, and above all women in the nation, that he ſhould be ſtoned to death, by the hands of women.' Now his time being come that he was to die, according to their appointment, he was taken into a park, where a great number of women were waiting upon him, with their aprons full of ſtones to fall upon him, and to put him to death, according to the Queen's appointment.

HIS SPEECH TO HIS EXECUTIONERS.

' Here's a female band with bags of ſtones, ' To Kill a man for rumple grones: ' I'm clean of rapine, blood, and thefts, ' Could I convert my farts to rifts? ' Since I the first for farting die, ' Cloſe up the place from whence they fly: ' To commit my crime, I think ye'll ſcarce, ' If once you do cork up your arſe. ' And now ſince women ſtones do carry, ' Men need not in the world tarry. ' Judge if ſuch women be chaſte complete, ' With forty ſtones between their feet; ' But ſince 'tis ſo, ye will come on, ' The greateſt whore throw the firſt ſtone.

When he ended with theſe words, 'The greateſt whore ſhould throw the firſt ſtone.' every one put it to another to call the firſt ſtone; but knowing they would attain the character of a whore for ſo doing, they all refuſed till the dying hour was paſt, and then he took a proteſt againſt them, and by theſe means gained his life.