Page:Witty and entertaining exploits of George Buchanan (15).pdf/32

                          32     T H E  W I T T Y  E X P L O I T S have got a ſcheme of the matter, you may go home, and have patience until the time come, and then my life for yours, poor woman, that I ſhall ſend you an attorney, that will do your buſineſs for nothing. He gave the poor woman more courage than any ſhe had ſpoke with in London; for every one told her that all the attornies in the world could not free her. So accordingly at the day appointed, George dreſſed himſelf like an attorny with his gown and every thing as he had really been ſo. The court being fenced, and the proceſs read over, expences and value of the pack, having amounted to above ſeven hundred pounds, was ordered to be put in a decreet againſt the poor widow, which every one was bemoaning, but could give her no relief. Now George kept himſelf ſilent, hearing them all with great patience, until the very nick of time, he thought proper to addreſs himſelf to the judges as followeth, 'My lords judges, and gentleman of this honourable court and company, I have come from London gratis, out of pure pity to ſpeak a word or two in favour of this poor woman, who hath exhauſted all her means in defence of a falſe accuſation charged againſt her; and now when her money is gone, her ſpeakers are dumb, and I ſaw none to plead the cauſe of this poor widow. Now, when ſenterce is upon the tapis to be pronounced againſt her, I earneſty deſire this court to modify and drop the expences altogether. It is enough when the poor woman has the pack to pay for you all know the woman was no way enriched by it, when the other two men got it away.' Then the purſuers attorney made anſwer, as follows: 'Sir, I would have thought that you who have come from London and profeſs to be a doctor of law, ſhould know better things; know ye not, that he who gains the plea, gains his expenses as well as the ſum, or be what it will?' Yes, it muſt and ſhall be ſo, ſaid the judges. Then ſaid George, 'This is all I want;' which ſet the whole court a-laughing, thinking he was a fool, and become an adverſary to the poor woman: 'Give over ſport, gentlemen,' ſays George, I have net done yet.' 'My lords judges, you will hear me in this, if the poor woman made a bargain with this merchant and other two who were with him, for to keep that pack ſafely, and to deliver it to none of them, until they were all three