Page:Witty and entertaining exploits of George Buchanan (15).pdf/30

                           30       T H E  W I T T Y  E X P L O I T S coachman drives for London in all haſte, in which time George wrote the following MOTTO. Here ſits the biſhop of Canterbury, Who at the ſchools diſdain'd to tarry, Far better ſkill'd in gamess than preaching, And yet he lives by others teaching. Blind, leaders of the blind indeed, 'Tis blind and lame that chariots need. Sic brutes with eyes this brute do carry, I mean the Biſhop of Canterbury. My feet being lame, I gave a dollar, To be drove in ſtate like you a ſcholar. For which myſelf I do abhor, Shame caus'd me make another door. Theſe lines George battered upon the inſide of the coach, and when he came within a mile of London, took a knife. and cut a great hole in the backſide of the coach, where he came out: and to make his promiſe good to the coachman, that he was to give him the other dollar as ſoon as ever he ſaw him come out at the coach door. The poor coachman drove off till he came to the foreſaid Inn, where he alighted; and opened the door to let out his paſſenger; but ſeeing the coach empty, and a great hole in the backſide of it, he cried out, He believed he had lead the devil in the coach, and that he had taken away the backſide of it with him. The people of the Inn came all flocking about to ſee what was done; and then perceiving the lines on the inſide of the coach, which the biſhop came and read himſelf, they all concluded it to be done by George, but could make nothing of it; for the biſhop ſaid, to purſue him might well make it worſe, but no better. George was invited one day by a great lawyer to come and ſee a new building, which he had lately built of fine free ſtone and marble, he deſired George to gueſs what it was built with. George anſwers, do you think that I do not know what it is built with? No, you do not, ſays the lawyer. Yes I do, ſays George, It cannot ſtand long, for malice and hatred is the morter of it, and the ſtones are the heads of fooliſh people, poliſhed over with the tongue of an aſs: What! ſays the lawyer, do you compare me to an aſs. O! Sir, do not you remember, than an aſs was made an advocate, and ſpoke againſt Balaam? The lawyer to this