Page:Witty and entertaining exploits of George Buchanan (15).pdf/26

                     26      T H E  W I T T Y  E X P L O I T S    So the Engliſh ſquire ſat up all night conferring with his friends, whether to put a high verſe to him, or mean ſimple words; thinking that George would be ſitting up all night meditating on an anſwer; ſo they all agreed, that mean and ſimple words he would not be thinking on, and have no anſwer provided for ſuch. Then away they came in the morning very early, with ſeveral gentlemen in company to hear the diverſion. George's ſervant opened the door according to his maſter's orders. The ſquire entered the room firſt, and awaked George out of his ſleep, then ſaid, Riſe up you madman, and put on your clothes, [To which George anſwered.] O thou haft loſt thy wad man, for I am none of thoſe. The Engliſh ſquire confeſſed he was fairly beat and would match with him no more. Then another gentleman would hold five guineas, that he would give him a word or line, that he could not metre at the firſt anſwer, and to an{wer it directly as ſoon as he had done ſpeaking: but George ordered him firſt to table the money, and them to proceed, which he did in all haſte, and ſaid as follows.

My belly rumbled, and then I farted, [George, gripping to the money, anſwered,] A fool and his money is ſoon parted.

Then they all cried out, he was fairly beaten, and that what George had ſaid was really true; but he never would lay any more wagers concerning poetry. After this, George got a letter from a biſhop, telling him that he was coming to viſit him and take dinner with him in his lodgings; George ſent an anſwer, that he would wait upon his Lordſhip at the time appointed: but well did George know it was not for any love he had unto him, he was coming to viſit him, but to ſpy fairlies: therefore he thought he would give him ſomething to talk about. So George ſent his ſervant to a Bookſeller's ſhop, to buy a dozen of ſmall pamphlets about a halfpenny a piece; ſuch as, A Groat worth's of Wit, for a Penny; the Hiſtory of the King and the Cobler, and ſuch pieces as the taking all his own books away, and putting the pamphlets in their place, which he preſented to the biſhop, when he aſked for