Page:Witty and entertaining exploits of George Buchanan (15).pdf/24

                        24     T H E  W I T T Y  E X P L O I T S pack of hounds, and carried him before the cardinals and father confeſſors, where he was allowed to ſpeak for himſelf, which he did as follows: 'May it pleaſe your moſt excellent worſhips to hear my reaſons before you pronounce my ſentence to be put in execution againſt me. It was my fortune to be paſſing through this city a few months ago with the Britiſh ambaſſador on our way to Italy; and one day being walking in the King's garden, in preſence of the King and many of his nobles, who can bear witneſs to the truth of the fame; I being ignorant of your traditions and rites of religion, fooliſhly offended, reproaching the Virgin Mary to her face; and ever ſince ſhe has plagued me with boundneſs in my belly that I have voided nought but clean haugh; ſo now on my return, I went and implored her to open my fundament, and ſhe has done ſo; I being overjoyed with the miraculous healing, in getting a paſſage in her preſence, left it as a memorial of the miracle in that place.' When hearing this, they all with one content, lifted up their hands and bleſſed the Virgin Mary, for the wonderful miracle ſhe had done; and ordered George to go about his buſineſs, and declare unto all what was done unto him by the Holy Virgin, for the confirmation of their religion. So all the devoted Romans came to view his dung, and worſhip over it; the King himſelf kneeled down and worſhipped, bowing his body over it in the preſence of many people, and alſo cauſed a holy day to be obſerved thro' all his dominions, for the miraculous cure. Now George being a long time abſent from Britain, he thought fit to go and viſit the King and his court in diſguiſe. He meeting with an old man driving two old horſes loaded with coals to ſell; George here makes a bargain with the old man, for the loan of his clothes, his horſes and coals, whip, and every thing for to complete him as a real coal-driver; ſo away he goes in this dreſs, until he came before the King's palace, where he began to cry, with an audible voice, Buy coals, buy coals; better 'buy than borrow.' Now the King being in company with his young chaplain, who was a foundling, that none knew his original; and had been foſtered and educated out of charity by the King's father, yet he was become as proud as Lucifer, and as proud in his own conceit as the King