Page:Witty and entertaining exploits of George Buchanan (15).pdf/16

                         16       T H E  W I T T Y  E X P L O I T S and his court were preſent: George made ſeveral turns thro' the company, making his fcabbard hit againſt their ſhins, and ſometimes ſlipt it below a lady's fardingale; and in ſhort, moleſted the company ſo much that he was taken notice of, and ſeized as a perſon who had incurred the penalties of the act aforeſaid. But George excuſed himſelf, telling them that the law was only againſt ſwords, and as he only were a ſcabbard, was no ways liable. At ſeeing this, the King and his court were convinced that the law was imperfect, and that George had more wit than themſelves. George, one day eaſing himſelf at the corner of a hedge,was eſpied by an Engliſh 'ſquire, who began to mock him, aſking him, why he did not keckle like the hens? But George, wheſe wit was always ready, told him, He was afraid to keckle, left he would come and ſnatch up the egg. Which rebuff made the 'fquire walk off as mute as a ſith. George was profeſſor in the college of St. Andrews, and ſlipt out one day in his gown and ſlippers, and went to his travels thro' Italy, and ſeveral other foreign countries, and after ſeven years, returned with the ſame dreſs he went off in: and entering the college, took poſſeſſion of his feat there, but the profeſſor in his room quarrelled him for ſo doing. Ay, ſays George, it is a very odd thing, that a man cannot take a walk out in his ſlippers, but another will take up his feat. And ſo ſet the other profeſſor about his buſineſs. George was met one day by three biſhops, who paid him the following compliments. Says the firſt, Good-day, father Abraham; ſays the ſecond, Good day, father Iſaac; ſays the third, Good-day, father Jacob. To which he replied, 'I am neither father Abraham, father Iſaac, nor father Jacob; but I am Saul the ſon of Kiſh, ſent out to ſeek my father's aſſes, and lo! I have found three of them. Which anſwer convinced the biſhops, that they had miſtaken their man. A poor Scotchman dined one day at a public houſe in London upon eggs, and not having money to pay, got credit till he would return; the man being lucky in trade, acquired vaſt riches; and after ſome years returned, and calling at the houſe where he was owing his dinner of eggs, aſked the landlord what he had to pay for his dinner of eggs, he had from him ſuch a time; but the landlord ſeeing him now rich, gave him a bill of ſome hundred pounds,