Page:Witty and entertaining exploits of George Buchanan (14).pdf/7

 7

Parliamenter indeed! to hang a man for a sinless infirmity, and that's a fart. The Queen enrag'd at the affront put on her first appearance in Parliament, went off in a passion, and would never countenance them more. But yet, to be revenged on George, she would never give the King rest till he delivered George into her hands, that he might be punished at her pleasure, which the King accordingly commanded to be done, knowing that George would rescue by some intrigue or other. No sooner was he delivered into her hands, but she and her maids of honour pronounced his doom, which was as follows: "As he had affronted the Queen among so great an equipage, who ought to be honoured in chief above all women in the nation, that he should be stoned to death by the hands of women." Now, the time being come that he was to die, according to their appointment, he was taken into a park, where a great number of women was waiting for kin, with their aprons full of stones, to fall upon him, and put him to death, according to the Queen's appointment.

HIS SPEECH TO HIS EXECUTIONERS.

'Here's a female band with bags of stones, 'To kill a man for rumple groans: 'I'm clean of rapine, blood, and thefts 'Could I convert my farts to rifts? 'Since I the first for farting die, 'Close up the place from whence they fly. 'To commit my crime, I think, ye'll scarce, 'If once ye do cork up your arse. 'And now since women stones do carry, 'Men need not in this world carry. 'Judge if such women be chaste complete, 'With forty stones between their feet: 'But since 'tis so ye will come on, 'The greatest whore throw the first stone.'