Page:Witty and entertaining exploits of George Buchanan (11).pdf/7



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HIS SPEECH TO HIS EXECUTIONERS.

'Here's a female band with bags of stones, 'To kill a man for rumple groans: 'I'm clean of rapine, blood, and thefts, 'Could I convert my farts to rifts? 'Since I the first for farting die, 'Close up the place from whence they fly. 'To commit my crime, I think, ye'll scarce, 'If once ye do cork up your arse. 'And now since women stones do carry, 'Men need not in this world tarry. 'Judge if such women be chaste complete, 'With forty stones between their feet: 'But since 'tis so ye will come on, ' The greatest whore throw the first stone.'

When he ended with these words, 'The greatest whore throw the first stone,' every one put it to another to cast the first stone; but knowing they would attain the character of a whore for so doing, they all refused till the dying hour was past, and then he took a protest against them, and by that means gained his life. After this he was admitted to the Queen's favor and presence, and attended the court as formerly.

About this time, the French King, in order to pick a quarrel with the court of Britain, sent a letter to the King, desiring it to be read before the Parliament; and the writing was as follows: Will I 'come?--Will I come? Will I come?'--This letter being read before the King and his courtiers, they all concluded that the French King designed to invade England: Therefore, they ordered an answer to be wrote, upbraiding him with the breach of peace, and putting him in mind of the last treaty. The answer being