Page:Witty and entertaining exploits of George Buchanan (11).pdf/4



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all my heart, says George, and we will end in and about where we began: they not knowing his meaning in this, The place and hour being set where they were to meet next morning, George in the night time caused a deep pit to be made, and the earth of it carried away; then filled it up with dung from a privy, and covered it over with green turf, that it might not be known by the other ground. So, according to promise, they both met in the morning against the appointed time. Now George being the oldest man, and by them counted the greatest fool, the young spark permitted him to jump first, which he, according to order did; and jumped within a foot of the place where the ground was falsified. The young man seeing this made his performance with great airs, and all his might, so that he jumped a foot over George, and up to his oxter in clean dung: whereat the whole multitude of spectators cried out with loud huzzas and laughter Now, says George, I told you we would end in and about where we began, and that is in clean dirt.

On a time after this, the king and his court were going into the country, and they would have George to ride before them in the fool's dress; whereunto he seemed unwilling, but it was the king's pleasure. So George was mounted upon an old horse, with the heels hanging down, and a palmer coat, patched over with pictures of divers kinds. George rode before then in this posture, which caused great laughter and diversion, until they came to an inn, where they alighted to dine; and in the time they were at dinner, George went into the stables, and with a knife cut all their horses chafts, not sore, but so as they might bleed. Now, as soon as dinner was over, and they mounted their horses again, George riding before them as