Page:Witty and entertaining exploits of George Buchanan (10).pdf/32

 ſend his lyon heralds with a party, who would bring him to London, whether he would or not. Unto which, as an anſwer, George ſent him a famous letter of admonition, both anent the government of his kingdom, and the well being of his ſoul, which cauſed the king weep very bitterly, when he read it over, with the top owing verſe:

NE aſked a printer, how he could paint ſuch pretty faces in his pictures, and yet get ſuch homely children? Becauſe, ſaid he, I make the firſt by day-light, and the other in the dark.

A countryman ſowing his ground, two ſmart fellows riding that way, one of them called to him with an inſolent air, Well, honeſt fellow, ſaid he, it is your business to ſow, but we reap the fruits of your labour. To which the country man replied, 'tis very likely you may, for I am ſowing hemp.

Two Oxford ſcholars meeting on the road with a Yorkſhire hoſtler, they fell to bantering him, and ſaid to the fellow, that they would prove him to be a horſe or an aſs. Well, said the hoſtler, and I can prove your ſaddle to be a mule. Cried one of them, how can that be? Becauſe, ſaid the hoſtler, it is ſomething between a horſe and an aſs.

A beggar aſking alms under the name of a poor ſcholar a gentleman, to whom he applied himſelf, aſking him a question in latin. The fellow ſhaking his head, ſaid, he did not underſtand him. Why, ſays the gentleman, did not you say you was a poor ſcholar? Yes, replied the other, a poor one indeed, sir, for I do not underſand one word of latin.

When his late majeſty, in coming from Holland, happened to meet with a violent ſtorm at ſea, the captain of the yacht cried to the chaplain, In five minutes, doctor, we ſhall be with the Lord. The Lord forbid, anſwered the doctor.

A gentleman having ſent for his carpenter's ſervant to knock a nail or two in his ſtudy; the fellow, after he has done, ſcratched his ears, and ſaid, he hoped the gentleman would give him ſomething to make him drink. Make you drink, ſays the gentleman, there's a pickled herring for you, and if that wont make you drink, I'll give you another.