Page:Witty and entertaining exploits of George Buchanan (10).pdf/20

 tryman of yours, Sir. The ambaſſador ſmiled, and joked George, telling him, it was a devil, and how could it be a countryman of his? O, ſays George, I'll ſhow you the contrary of that, for the devil dare not ſtay in our country; George having waſhed himſelf, it came again to take away the baſon and water; then ſays George, and how long is it ſince you left your own country? about 250 years ago, ſays it. Then certainly, ſays he, thou art a devil, and not an earthly creature. To which he anſwered.

He taking a handful of water, and throwing it on the old withered face of it, repeating the form of the words of baptiſm in Earſe: ſaying, if thou be a Chriſtian, thou art old enough now to be baptiſed. No ſooner had he done this, but it went off weeping and crying, O! let never a rogue put truſt in his countryman after me. Now, ſays George, I told you the devil dare not ſtay in my country nor yet look a Scotſman in the face in his own. Why, ſays the Italian lord, ſo you imagine, that this is the devil's own country? It appears ſo, ſays George, for he is the oldeſt reſidenter in it I know; but my lord, ſaid he, and if it pleaſe your grace, I think the clergymen are very ſcant in this country, when you have kept the devil ſo long for a chaplain. The nobleman unto this gave no anſwer, but expreſſed his ſorrow to be very great for the loſs of his Brownie.

Now the ambaſſador having done his buſineſs in Italy, they returned homeward, and on their way, the ambaſſador began to queſtion George how he thought to eſcape Paris without committing idolatry. No, no, ſays George, I never did worſhip any image, nor never ſhall; but I ſhall make them worſhip the worſt that is in my guts. No ſooner were they arrived in Paris, but George leaves the ambaſſador, and goes directly to the Virgin Mary, jumps in over the rail to the holy ground (as they termed it) whereon ſhe ſtood, where few durſt go but prieſts and friars; and there he looſed his breeches, and made ſuch a groaning, eaſing himſelf, that he was heard at a diſtance by the prieſts and friars who were walking near by, and they perceiving this heinous abomination, ran upon him like a pack of hounds, and carried him before the cardinals and Father confeſſors, where he was allowed to ſpeak for himſelf, which he did as follows: May it pleaſe your moſt excellent Worſhips to hear my reaſons,