Page:Witty and entertaining exploits of George Buchanan (10).pdf/18

 full of gold? which he ſaid he would; they gave it red hot, and now George laughed at them in his turn, telling them, that this new hat was a good one, and ſtood fire better than the old one; and ſo carried it off honeſtly: and being afterwards proſecute for to return it, he excuſed himſelf, telling the judge, that he took nothing but what was given him; and therefore he was honourably acquitted, and the others heartily laughed at.

A Scotſman being reduced to poverty, made his court to George to put him in a way; George told him he would, provided he would do as he directed him. There was an old miſer, an uſerer and money changer hard by; George ordered the poor fellow to pretend an errand to the miſer, and when he came to the table where the heaps of money lay, to thruſt his hand among the gold, but to lift none, and run off. This the poor fellow did, and was chaſed by the miſer and his ſervants, who ran after him into the ſtreet, calling ſtop the thief; the poor fellow was ſtopt, (as George had deſired him to let them catch him.) George appeared in the mob, and went along with the poor fellow, who was carried before a judge, were he was ſearched; and nothing being found upon him, he was acquitted, and the miſer fined in a large ſum for accuſing him. Afterwards George deſired him to go to the ſame place, and thruſt in both his hands, and lift up as much as he could and run off. This he did, but the miſer told him, he was not ſuch a fool as to follow him, for he knew he only deſires to play the fool to have him fined gain. By this means the poor fellow was enriched, and afterwards lived honeſtly.

George being at dinner one lay, where the broth was very hot, burnt his mouth and as the ſame time letting go a lord fart; It is very good for you, ſays George, that you made your eſcape, for I ſhould have burnt you alive had you ſtaid

Young curate, with more pertneſs than wit or learning, being aſked in company, how he came to take it into his head to enter into the miniſtry of the church? Becauſe, ſaid he, the Lord hath need of me. That may be, replied George, who was preſent, for I have often heard that the Lord had once need of an aſs.